Foster said, “I can’t believe I’m stuck back at this apartment. With you no less.”
Ivan flipped a page.
“You wretched naga! The simpleton said he didn’t want you sleeping on him! Be gone.”
Ivan flipped another page.
“Sorry snake-man, you ain’t so little no more. Plus you’re freakin’ my brother out.”
“I kill these things in World of Warcraft you know,” Lee said with a shiver.
Ivan puffed his chest and said, “Lee is a mighty warrior in the faraway land of Azeroth. You don’t know where it is do you. I do. One must take the magical Broadband Bridge and speak to Wifi the Gatekeeper to get there.”
“Of course I do,” Foster snapped.
*snicker*
Jillian stopped by for a visit. “Oh Ivan, when are you going to stop leaving your clothes on the floor?”
“We’re back from the mall,” Ina said. “It’s a magical place filled with things. You give the people little pieces of paper and they give you goods. I want to go back.”
Micah wept for his wallet.
“Oh blessed Oracle what have you done?” Foster’s eyes were wide with horror.
“What’s wrong Foster? It’s a Christmas tree.” Micah stood proudly beside his new tree. “I happened to run into Abe at the tree farm. Lucky thing too, my bike wouldn’t start. Again.”
“We’ll go back for it,” Abe said. “I know a mechanic who can take a look at it for you.”
Ina pranced up to the tree. “Yes, our new friend Abraham helped us carry this big tree. I just insisted he come by for dinner. Won’t that be fun? I love this place, it’s so wonderful.”
Micah told Abraham his girlfriend was an otaku and sometimes wore her fox tail and ear costume in public. He came up with an equally absurd story to explain Foster's presence.
“You actually dragged a corpse into the apartment… they’ll rise against us, they’ll entangle us in their roots, they’ll… oh Oracle protect us they’ll declare war.” Foster hyperventilated. “Remember the War of the Branches? How many elves died… tens of thousands… all because they made wooden toys.”
“Don’t be silly my Princ—ah, Foster.” Ina patted Foster on the head.
“Earth trees don’t talk back. Here, we traded the green paper for these things today. Try them on.”
Micah whispered, “What are the chances that you’ll put on a pair of pants today?”
“What are the chances that you’ll send HIM away?” Ivan crossed his arms.
Micah hissed, “Please? We have guests.”
“It’s okay everyone, it will be a cramped couple of … weeks. Or months. Or whatever.” Micah smiled. “We’ll all just work hard and get along.” He and Ina made googly-eyes at each other and all his problems melted away.
“What is this? Only peasants cover this much flesh. And…feet coverings? How can a fairy feel the earth if he’s wearing shoes? It’s criminal.”
“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ivan.” He said this in his most imperial tone, complete with epic Slavic accent.
“I’m Abraham.” He seemed rather nervous.
“I don’t want to put the rest on!” After a royal temper tantrum Foster did as Ina asked.
“It’s fine Foster, think of it as….” Micah lit up. “A disguise!”
“Indeed, this is a wise plan.”
“Not a word from you,” Foster glared. “I’ll turn you into a newt.”
“I’ll just get better.” Ivan ignored Foster and made polite small talk with Abraham who didn’t ask any questions about the strange child with the long white hair.
“Hey Ryan, remember that thing we were going to go do? Let’s go do it.”
“Yeah man, like totally. See you guys later. We’re cruising for chicks.”
“You cut the wire on the kid’s bike?” Zo asked.
“Yep,” Gabe said. “Everything’s going according to plan.”
#26 Issues Much?
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