Why yes my friends, I was going to do a simple Christmas Party story but OH NO! What we’ve got here is a story in 4 parts by me, creator of meandering plot-lines, unanswered loose ends, continuity errors, and pointless drama. WOOO-WEEEE!!! We’ve got more back-story than you can shake a stick at! You shake that stick! Shake it so hard the bark falls off! Shake it some more! That’s right folks, there’s so much back-story and photographical-meandering shenanigans that it takes 500million pages to get to the point! It’s the longest story I’ve ever done!*
*Disclaimer, I just said that. I didn’t actually count pictures to verify the facts. I’m just going to say it and keep repeating it until it becomes the new truth. In 50 years you’ll never know the difference.
Shake a stick at THAT my friend!
#27 Ridiculously Long Episode Part 1: Ivan and Foster Declare War
“This means war!” Ivan roared. “My horse, my armor!”
“I will crush you so utterly even your bones will be dust!”
“This peace treaty is OVER!” Ivan growled. “Prepare to be vanquished!”
“I will shrink you to the size of the spec of dust you are in my sight and crush you with my pinky finger! Die vampire DIE!”
“The problem with you is that you’re not willing to sacrifice your pawns.”
“And you wonder why you lost your war,” Ivan countered. “Your own brothers turned on you and now you want revenge, yet you would do the same to them? If you are neither just nor fair in your leadership then you will not be loved. You want to be feared and through fear you rule but I say it is better to be loved. My men were willing to die for me because I would die for them and they knew it.”
Foster said nothing else and glared down at the chessboard.
“I’m home!” Micah smiled at the quiet game of chess. He congratulated himself on yet another brilliant solution to his problems. Keeping the two royals busy with the “War Board” has made his life immeasurably easier. Lee said calling it “chess” wasn’t good enough so he named it the “Ultimate War Board of Everlasting Devastation.” Ivan approved heartily and the two princes went after one another’s “armies” with ravage delight. It was his hope that Ivan would teach Foster something of proper leadership along the way; the fairy would be better for it if he’d just listen.
*stretch*
“Oh man what a great day. Bike is fixed, the apartment is clean for once, it’s nice and quiet too. I have a girlfriend, did I mention that lately?”
“Hush boy, I am trying to defeat this undead fiend,” Foster said.
“You okay back there buddy? Don’t hear much from you.”
“I sleep on the heat vent, it is warm yes it is. No need to move from this nice place. Better than a rock in the sun even, hmm….” Vargas drifted back to sleep and Micah smiled. A nap sounded really good. The next semester would be starting soon and he was so… sleepy… Zzzzzzz….
“Quiet. Micah slumbers and I’ve no wish to wake him.”
“Indeed,” Ivan said. “We shall engage in silent warfare. I will glare like this and you shall interpret it as my overwhelming desire to see you utterly decimated.”
“I will return the glare and narrow my eyes thus, meaning that I would kill you in your sleep were it an option.”
“I do not sleep.”
“I know.”
Ivan lowered his baritone voice to a rumbling whisper, “Micah believes the best in people, even to a fault, but I know your lust for vengeance has not been quenched.”
“Perceptive. I am ever-planning my eventual return to my homeland….”
*evil cackle face*
TBC
(I shall try and pace myself lest I spam you with hundreds upon hundreds of pictures all at once.) Shake that stick!!
Part 2:
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