Tanja sees huge humans! (x-posted)
Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:52 pm
Aurym: *looks down the hallway* ...
Aurym: *checks the other direction*
[ Off screen: Sound of something heavy being dragged ]
Tanja: *off screen* Uh... just what are you doing?
Aurym: *startled* SH!T, WOMAN! *regains composure* Ah... it's just you, vampire. I was afraid it was going to be an Entity.
Tanja: Um yeah... mind answering my question?
Aurym: Ah... yes... about that. Well, you see, when I came to a while ago, I realized that I must've accidentally decapitated Klarivence while dissecting him in my sleep. The knife must've slipped... Well... there's no helping what's been done, so I am going to hide his body in the refrigerator. That way, the time of death can't be traced back to me and what not.
Tanja: I'm not going to even bother asking you why...
Aurym: Good. I'm not interested in explaining to a lower creature like you.
Aurym: Now, since you're here, vampire, you might as well help me take his body to the refrigerator.
Tanja: Uh... about that... Klarivence isn't dead.
Aurym: How so, vampire?
Tanja: You have got to be kidding me... look, our owner took off his head to send him to someone for a face-up.
Aurym: Our owner? I have no owner. Taking off his head for a face-up? WTF are you on, vampire?
Tanja: You know, that HUGE HUMAN? Seriously, we don't have faces until someone paints us!
Aurym: Ah, yes... the huge human. I've heard of it... that and the big a$$ glowing red eye that stares at you while you go pee.
Tanja: Are you freaking serious?!
Aurym: I hear the huge human is Santa Claus' next door neighbor too. *rolls his eyes*
Tanja: FINE! Just look over there! Don't you see the freaking huge human who's taking pictures of us right now?
Aurym: *snorts disdainfully* If you insist, vampire. As if I'd miss a "huge human".
Aurym: *staring intently*
Aurym: *turns to Tanja* ...
Aurym: PFFFFFFFFFF!
Aurym: *wiping away spit from his mouth* Aha ha... you should really try stand up comedy, vampire. I almost took you seriously.
Aurym: Really, now? Was I supposed to see some leprechaun or unicorn? It takes more to fool a researcher like me.
Aurym: If you really didn't want to help me stuff a corpse in a refrigerator next time, just say so.
Tanja: *face-palm* Ugh...
Aurym: Now, if you're quite done with this ridiculous matter, I have something more pressing to take care of, vampire.
Tanja: Whatever... just don't stuff him in the refrigerator.
Aurym: Oh? And why shouldn't I?
Tanja: Well, you know that Klarivence is a Kzean, right? All Kzeans have this Oedipus complex and all. I mean, Kzeans are conceived and born in artificial wombs... so...
Tanja: Yeah... if you stuff him in the refrigerator and it turns out he's not really dead, Klarivence will fall in love with the refrigerator.
Aurym: Sh!t... I really don't need to accidentally walk in on something like that. I suppose I could just dump him in some liquid nitrogen...
Tanja: (Heh heh heh. This is going to be fun.)
End!~
