#31 Bury the Hatchet Doo Doo Head!
Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:49 pm
Summer days were coming which meant Ivan would have to wait longer for the sun to set before going out. Given his new roommate he seriously considered spending summer at the South Pole. At least the show featuring the well-choreographed minstrels was playing that afternoon.
"Blessed Oracle," Foster belted out in song and danced a jig toward the television. "I have the entire apartment all to myself. I'm watching Glee and those oafish boys can't mock me."
"Good morning."
*freeze*
He saw, he saw... Oracle curse him he saw... blasted undead fiend, why can't he be a proper vampire so I can justly hate him?
Ivan said, "You have an impressive voice. Perhaps you should consider becoming a court minstrel."
"You dolt, I'm not from this stupid realm and even I know you don't call them minstrels! Get with the times."
Ivan let out an exasperated sigh. "Minstrel."
"Musician."
"Minstrel."
"Musician."
"MINSTREL."
"MUSICIAN!"
"Very well, I shall see what the others think of my appraisal. I'm sure once I describe in detail the high quality of your voice and dancing they'll agree with me."
"I have two words for you, Ivan."
"You could utter two hundred words and it wouldn't change my mind."
"Bitey. Fluffy."
Foster cackled in maniacal laughter at Ivan's reaction. "AAHHAHAAA... Oh I know all about it! Tell them about my singing will you? I'll tell them about your DRESS!"
"Oh I'm sure they'll stop laughing about it, oh say, a few years from now. Boys do hold onto things like that. Especially when pink frills are involved."
"You... " Ivan was speechless. "You can't prove it."
"Yukiko has pictures."
"I have to say," Foster said. "Pink really does suit you. And all the sparkles and lace? Quite fitting indeed."
*brood*
I've pushed too far. The only way to deal with a giant undead menace like that is to show no fear, but usually he makes a big fuss. And he doesn't know my powers have greatly diminished since eating the human food, I can barely conjure a simple healing spell. Perhaps I should... BAH. I will not apologize. I already said I was sorry to that ridiculous naga.
Ivan turned and stared at Foster, saying nothing at all.
"You..." Foster blinked at Ivan.
"You can stare all you want," Foster said. The fairy fidgeted under Ivan's glare.
"Okay fine, I won't say anything. If you don't of course. Royal to royal, we shall respect one another's reputations, yes?"
Ivan said nothing.
"It isn't as if any harm came of it."
"Stop staring holes into my back, it's ... it's so bothersome! You make no sense to me! Why are you even here? You're not in exile as I. Why don't you go home? Go to that stupid kingdom you're always blathering on about. I'm sick to death of hearing about your stupid horse and armor and how impressive your army is and if I hear one more word about how beautiful your wife is I'm going to scream."
"They're dead," Ivan said. "I was going to watch the Glee marathon. Do you want to sit with me?"
"Exile isn't forever," Ivan said. "Vargas is looking for your family so take hope. You can either poison your mind from the well of resentment or you can use the time to reflect and better yourself. Or you can tell the boys about the little frilly dress during my captivity and I can bite your neck out." Ivan grinned, displaying long fangs.
"Oh, your secret's safe with me."
"Very well," Ivan said. "We shall speak of it no more."
"I... ah, I'm sorry. About your wife and army and kingdom and such. I didn't realize."
Ivan nodded and flicked on the television. "Do you think Rachel and Brody will break up?"
"They'd better not," Foster said.
"Nobody must know about this," Foster said.
"Indeed. If they find out we watch Glee I'll just erase their memories of it."
"You can do that?"
"Ssh, show's on."
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