Dollieh Sanctuary

"Micah tells me this device will have an Amazon send me clothes if I ask it." Ivan held the laptop with a bit of uncertainty. "I have asked thrice but no clothes have come and that blasted fairy is of no use. He claims his powers are diminished by the food." The vampire huffed, complaining that the sun set too late in summer for him to spend any adequate time shopping and tapped the keyboard in frustration.
Jillian laughed, "Well, ease up there Conan, don't break it."



"Okay, one step at a time. Type in where you want to go, hit enter. Gently."



"And then... you... " Jillian trailed off.



"I've got to get to work. We've got a big case right now. We've found the missing... ah, I should go." Jillian's job is a mystery, she hasn't told the boys anything about her job since she'd gotten back from Iraq and Ryan knows better than to pester her about it.



"Do I frighten you?" Ivan asked. "You know I'd never..."
"Of course not, I just have to get going." Jillian made her way to the door.



Ivan let out a sigh and ordered his new pants from Amazon.

...
day 1
...
day 2
...
day 3
...
Delivery!






"Hmm."



"Now what."



Foster's eyes lit up. "Ooh, so soft, such fine leather. From which realm did these pants come?"
"Saint Laurent. They're from Italy."



"They're not for you," Ivan said. "They're mine. Use your magic and make them bigger."
"No way, send them back and get a different pair."



"Fine. Hands off, then. You'll get fairy dust all over them anyway."
"You're the one flaking dead skin everywhere. It's gross."



Ivan said, "I will just ask Jillian how to send them back to the Amazon for a proper size. SHE knows how to do things, you know, unlike you who can't seem to use your magic anymore."



"I didn't want them anyway," Foster said. "Stupid pants like those are for peasants. Only a moron would wear something so atrocious."



So nice...



"Blessed Oracle, they're perfect."



"Ooh, I look like one of those troubled, drug-addled rocker types."



"His career in the drain, record sales plummeting..."



"The addiction has taken hold... what of his once precious music! his fans have left him in shame and scorn... so alone."



"In desperation he's off to rehab, just needs one more chance..."



"Mustn't give in... "



Ivan gasped. "My pants! What are you doing?"
"Shush you, I'm about to stage my fabulous come back with a hit single and a VH1 bio spot. Don't ruin it."



"I have to send those back!"



"But wait, his meteoric rise to fame is nigh! Will he survive the media scrutiny? Will he endure?"
"You've lost your mind."



"Take my pants, I'll take yours."



The vampire rubbed the fairy's breeches over his skin, taunting him that he'd smell of undead vampire flesh forever.



"AHA! Take that."



"You... just..."



"What do you say now sparkle-butt?"



"You..."



"stuffed..."



"You stuffed... my shorts... "



"There."



Ivan said. "You infected my pants with sparkly fairy ass. I can't return them if they're damaged goods."
"You stuffed my shorts down your pants."
"I win."
"YOU STUFFED MY SHORTS DOWN YOUR PANTS!"



"You seem upset," Ivan said. "Want them back?"
"NO!"
"Oh... now I feel just awful. Take them. Take them back." He wiggled the shorts.



Foster let out the most horrified of screams as Ivan pounced on him and attempted to stuff the shorts in his face.

"Wait..." Foster gasped for air. "Something is wrong..."
"The only thing wrong is you in my Saint Laurent pants... and... I ..." Ivan collapsed.



"The shaman," Foster whispered. No... how could I be so stupid? His eyes slid closed.



"Not so tough now," Zo spat. "Bout time the boss made you do your job, Abe. I'll stake this one, you guys take care of the small fry."



"Boss just wants the fairy," Gabe said. "No vamp."



"Oohwee, nice pants."



"I still don't think this is right," Abraham said with a sigh. "There is no proof they're the ones who did it."



"Vampire leftovers are found in four alleys within a ten mile radius of this location and you say that's not enough." Zo said. "Hey, I got an idea, let's get rid of all the people-eating monsters. Instead you're wasting time on the sparkly half-pint. This is so stupid. Abe, I think you've been stalling on purpose."
Gabe sighed. "Let's go b'fore the kid and his lady fox get back. We'll argue later."




............... Later that afternoon .............................



"Ivan?" She shook him. "Ivan wake up." Nothing. She looked around the apartment, nobody was home but it was clear there had been some sort of struggle and Foster's hair pins were on the floor.



"What happened here?"


Next story: #33 Time Flies
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=10256

"I win."

Well that escalated quickly!

LMAO

I loved Foster's little rockstar fantasy!!

And their whole fight there was hilarious

cool and interested. I like the part when the vamp put the pants down his pants lol.

Well, at least they didn't stake Ivan... And yes - the pants are perfect on Foster!

I laughed out loud. I don't do that often - but I did it this time.

It was the pants down the pants that did it, I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything at that moment!

yarwel wrote:"I win."

Cause you know, pants down pants are the ultimate, like a triple-dog dare.

Pandor wrote:Well that escalated quickly!

hehe... I was originally planning something else but it didn't work so I decided to quit hinting around and just go for it. Totally spur of the moment.

Lamia of the Dark wrote:LMAO
I loved Foster's little rockstar fantasy!!
And their whole fight there was hilarious

lol, thanks!

Janeway wrote:cool and interested. I like the part when the vamp put the pants down his pants lol.

Now they're tainted. Foster will never wear them again.

zirconmermaid wrote:Well, at least they didn't stake Ivan... And yes - the pants are perfect on Foster!

I love those pants! I was excited to see them fit so well. <3

Greyhaunt wrote:I laughed out loud. I don't do that often - but I did it this time.
It was the pants down the pants that did it, I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything at that moment!

hehehe... thank you so much! I love to make people laugh. <3 <3 <3