Approval??

[kurosu.chan]

Hey-lo, everybody...I have a difficult question I need some help with.

My friend recently got into BJDs, (very, very into them, it's a match made in heaven XD) but...her parents aren't.

I was wondering; did anyone here have issues with parental approval when they got into this hobby, and if so, is there any advice you can offer as to maybe helping a parent accept it a little more?

I figured if anyone could help us it I could find 'em here...thank you for reading this!

[fleacollar999]

I did have troubles with parental approval, but my parents are used to my weird hobbies and I'm 20 years old, so they just kind of frowned and shrugged while I did my own thing. You might wanna check out this thread about advice for asking my parents to buy a BJD. Lots of people gave me awesome advice!

[kurosu.chan]

Thanks...
I did look at that, and we've already done a lot of it, but it just hasn't seemed to help. I helped her get a small girl (who's head is still coming), but it seems they just don't like it. I feel bad, because I've run out of ideas on how to help her...I think introducing them to one of my dolls might help? But I think her parents are mad at me for helping her with this, so not so sure how that's gonna go ^.^;

[OkamiKodomo]

My experience isn't really doll-related, but I've dealt with my mother not liking some of my interests or hobbies. A part of how to deal with it might still depend on how old she is, and what part of the hobby her parents disagree with.... Is it the price tag the dolls come with? Is it because she's "growing up" and should be "too old to play with dolls"? If it's the price tag, and she has a job, she can point out that she's not asking for them to fund her hobby, and that she plans on paying for it herself. If she's young enough that her parents are telling her that she shouldn't be wasting her money on dolls, then as has been pointed out to me, when I start feeling guilty for spending large sums on dolls, lots hobbies tend to get expensive in one way or another, if you're genuinely serious about them. If it's her age, she can point out that the hobby is world-wide, with members of all ages, and the overwhelming majority are people who are full-grown adults, with very few who are children. These are collectors items, not toys, and there are online communities with users numbering in the thousands, dedicated to the hobby. She's likely to make friends all around the globe. The hobby is harmless, and it's an extremely creative pursuit. Seriously; doll people are some of the most ingenious people I've met. Mention all the artistic aspects of the hobby; from painting the dolls, to make clothing, accessories, and furniture for them.

If there seems to be no possible way to get her parents to like the dolls, then it may be that she needs to just accept that they're not going to like it. In my case, I actually had to keep some of my interests a secret. Hopefully, that isn't the case for your friend.... I still have to keep some interests a secret, but as I'm no longer under her roof, it's not as hard as it was when I was in school.

[Trethowan]

Responses depend entirely on the individual's age, economic independence, and living situation. I've touched on this before in other threads, but circumstances play a huge role in how to handle situations like this.

[kurosu.chan]

Thanks guys.

[Lamia of the Dark]

Ehhhh..... with my family it's more of a "don't understand, don't ask" thing..... They pretty much take it for granted that I'm weird, do arts and crafts at all hours of the night, and will never stop playing with toys.

[DollyKim]

Better a doll than a real baby. Here's a small humanoid you can dress and name what ever you want then toss in a box when you want to do something else.

[Lamia of the Dark]

Better a doll than a real baby. Here's a small humanoid you can dress and name what ever you want then toss in a box when you want to do something else.

Sometimes my "babies" sit on the bookshelf for days without being touched... I don't think I could stand having a real kid.

[MitisFeles]

I've always had strange hobbies, but I've also very creative parents that like to see me doing creative works, so in the great part of cases they tolerate, if not encourage, my activities. They don't liked seeing me spending much in comics and Magic cards, but at least the money spent was only from my savings, so they only mumbled and let me do. The only real controversial point was my interest in cosplay: they liked to see me sewing, crafting and painting but don't like so much the idea to have a daughter that goes around in (sometimes allusive) costumes in time of the year different than Halloween or Carnevale, but in the end they just grow resignation.
I started doll customization when the past year I had to leave cosplay, mainly due to lack of time; I loved making cosplay because it was a 360° hobby, implying a lot of different activity, and I found that doll customization is complete in almost the same ways (and more, more practical...). So the relieve to have me stopped to go around in strange clothes made my parent more tolerant in doll's regards, even if my mom doesn't like them they never said "You're too old for dolls!"
My actual "problem" is my boyfriend, that's very concerned about what people can think about me, maybe because of his job (he's a military police lieutenant). He thinks that I have to avoid activities and hobbies (like BJD dolls) that can be perceived as childish and influence negatively my reputation, even if they are totally innocent. For this reason I had still not tell him that I have ordered my first BJD dolls, but the fact that he doesn't commented negatively my doll customization activity make me hope that at least will tolerate my hobby, even if he will ever not share it.

Conclusion: That's my experience and maybe is not useful at all... Treethowan's thread already cover all the rationally advices that I can think of. Some people (like my mother) finds dolls eerie, maybe it's the same with your friend's parents T_T I think you two just have to show patience to make them accept the idea, it's sure a particular hobby and maybe expensive, but it's totally innocent and safe for health...