Dollieh Sanctuary

My girlfriends and BF don't understand my hobby. They think it's weird, I have a sickness and it's a waste of time and money. Has anyone else been told this?

I've been told that it's weird and a waste of money. I find it ironic coming from some of them who blow $300 on stuff they use once, but it is what it is.

takahirokumiko wrote:I've been told that it's weird and a waste of money. I find it ironic coming from some of them who blow $300 on stuff they use once, but it is what it is.

Ha! That is so true!

The way I see it. Ultimately it's none of their business. Having opinions is one thing but saying "you have a sickness" is just ridiculous and undermines you an individual, sovereign over your own life, and all that jazz. That level of invalidation of a person's choices is manipulative and cruel. Real friends don't do that to each other. If you were out smoking crack it would be one thing but these are just dolls. Even if they don't understand your preferred hobby they've no right to say you've got a "sickness."

Trethowan wrote:The way I see it. Ultimately it's none of their business. Having opinions is one thing but saying "you have a sickness" is just ridiculous and undermines you an individual, sovereign over your own life, and all that jazz. That level of invalidation of a person's choices is manipulative and cruel. Real friends don't do that to each other. If you were out smoking crack it would be one thing but these are just dolls. Even if they don't understand your preferred hobby they've no right to say you've got a "sickness."

I agree that they shouldn't say things like that. That is what shocked me the most! I had been friends with this person since college. Also she was a art major like me. I thought she would understand this hobby but I guess I was wrong. The funny thing is the friend I thought might not get this hobby. Is a girlfriend who really likes photo stories and was never a art major.

Call them "lay figures." That should end the criticism.

I just met a neighbor of my son who is an amateur artist. He totally got it when I framed it that way. (He seemed like he was bitten by the 1:6 bug when he left... )

I pose mine to my friends of you buy a video game for $60 play it a few times within a couple months you have beaten it or it has decreased in value to almost nothing. So you buy another one and repeat as it makes you happy and who cares if it decreases in value, mine are like paintings to me pieces of art that I admire and make me happy many are unique and some might be flawed and others I restored some took me years to complete but at the end of the day if I ever decided to end my collection for some reason I could sell them to get my money back or possibly more based on the doll. So nothing lost. My friends understand and don't think it's weird when put in that way. plus I don't spend very much on my collection compared to the average person on their video games or even gundam models so there is that too.

My life-partner is same: "the dolls are ugly and expensive" ja "I can't see, what good they are for".

But as I pay my dolls myself, and not taking the money out of our household budjet, it's only my business how much money (and time) I spend on MY hobby.

maywong Okay, first off, that is WAY OVER THE LINE with the whole "you have a sickness" comment. That's just...rather hateful in my opinion. People who tend to think this way are the ones who think dolls are something you're supposed to "grow out of" and shed like a bird moulting feathers as you grow. They don't take into account that the empire of "toys for young girls and boys" is run by a very powerful group of companies full of...guess what...adult employees. No, you don't work for a company that makes dolls, but you're a creative extension of what their PR and Design departments spends months and months on for a mass audience, you (and they) are asking "will this appeal?", but you're doing it for your own creative fulfillment. While they ask "will this appeal to a wide audience?" you're simply asking "will this appeal to me, which is what matters?". It's a form of art, a fandom, a hobby, and a challenge all rolled into one.

In the end it's YOU that matters. You're not hurting anyone, not doing anything wrong, and so who gives a flying you-know-what if you want to spend $300 on a BJD rather than a Gucci? I'm sorry you're having this experience at all maywong. I'd dump whichever friend said it was a 'sickness' because until she presents you with her degree in psychiatry and has formally diagnosed you as a patient I wouldn't be throwing those big words around.

Just keep in mind that making yourself happy is what matters in the end. We live once, so live how you want.

Happiness is different things to different people that's what happiness is.

Any hobby or interest that doesn't harm you or anyone else is part of being a well rounded human being. Dolls feed in to our nature to nurture small beings but unlike children or pets they don't do sh*t. If it's about money and making a living people from Ray Harryhausen to The Muppets to Tim Burton to Robot Chicken made their living playing with dolls.