Dolly Guilt/Shame...have any of you felt this??

[DollyKim]

When I'm getting ready to make a major doll purchase I go on a "Doll Diet". In general I put aside a percentage of my money incase there's an emergency, touch wood. To get a doll I buy less meals out, great for the waist line too, less of the little things I might pick up because I want them, less of the general hobby and interest things I can get later.

Over the years the Doll Diet has actually helped with what could have been a shopping/hoarding problem as it made me examine why I was buying some of the things I was buying. The results were it became easier to save and easier to get dolls. Within a few years of starting I went from searching for change in the couch to being able to meet the price for a holiday promotion and getting a free doll

[MitisFeles]

Well Kim, I'm already in a "Doll Diet" XD Since I moved and I had to pay my share of our bills, I've had really few meals out...(and the last shoes I bought was a bargain with my mother...she bought me the shoes and I dyed her hair XD)
Anyway, yours is a really good strategy, especially for the parts about controlling what you are buying. I used to buy a lot of not-so-useful things in the pasts ^_^'''
I'll probably start with the old strategy of the piggybank, too, and gathering there my spare money. So I'll probably feel less guilty with the next doll and prepared for a good deal when it comes ^_^'

[Tealove]

I tend to feel embarrassed whenever someone says something along the lines of, "I could never afford x" when I show them something I've bought. Even if I'd been on a doll diet, it makes me feel shallow and greedy because I'm not used to spending money on myself. My family does this to me all the time even though they earn more and spend more than I do on luxury. As a result, I tend to be shy about my collection.

My husband doesn't understand dolls but he likes that they seem to have lifted me out of my funk. He has been super supportive and even went to a convention with me. In return, I support his robot building hobby. Although, who wouldn't support a robot hobby??? OMG.

[DollyKim]

Something something having a healthy hobby makes a well rounded human being something something if you don't take care of yourself you aren't in that much of a position to take care of others.

They do make the occasional robotic doll that combines both hobbies.

[MeltedCaramel]

Dollykim I like your idea, especially because I need to stop getting what I refer to as "impulse syndrome" where I absolutely MUST have something and then when I get it it's usually not what I was expecting and I'm stuck with a $30 POS and out $30. (This happens a lot when you collect doujinshi. You spend money thinking you're going to get this amazing book and it turns out to be not so...eh. Well, there's always Ebay to unload it all. ^_~)

Tealove don't feel so bad about your dolls and your hobby! Out of everyone on this board who has answered I think you might be the only person that actually feels it a bit worse than me!! What business of it is anyone elses what you can or can't afford? And hey, I can afford barely ANYTHING right now (I'm praying a doujinshi seller friend is gonna give me a discount on a rare doujinshi she had been looking around at my request for a particular couple.) but if you take my doujinshi collection alone we're climbing into the four digit range EASILY. My fifteen+ love affair with anime and manga has also netted me another four digit set of things. Of course that was over fifteen years, but still, the point is I have a lot of green sitting in those piles of doujinshi, art supplies, books, etc. So "could never afford" is a ridiculous thing to say. If you want something bad enough, you go after it, period.

Also, your hubby sounds awesome. Hey, my future husband is going to have to worry about ME being the one kitbashing robots. XDD And like Dollykim said, there are some dolls that combine the two! By Medicom's Edward Elric! You can fawn over the clothes and awesome dolliness of him while your husband can ponder over the realistic looking automail parts. XD And he willingly went with you to a doll convention? Yeah, that's the kind of love only parents and (amazing) spouses show. I will never forget trying to entice my mother into going sea glass hunting (sea glass makes wonderful dollie accessories when you run across the beaches that wear the glass down super small and smooth!).

Mother: "You want me to walk along the beach in hundred degree heat and look for pieces of glass, I'm hearing this right?"
Me: "Yes."
Mother: *Sighs* "The things you do for your children."

<---The first piece of glass she found got her hooked! I was sort of that way with 1/6 dolls. At first I was all "*Sigh* But they'll take up room in a small house and..." and then I got my first Medicom and was like "THIS IS THE BEST HOBBY EVER!!" *GOLD STAR*

[embyquinn]

Since nobody else in my household really "gets" my doll obsession, I can relate to people feeling a bit uncomfortable being a grown (or more than grown) adult who still..let's not mince words...plays with dolls. On the other hand, my dolls give me a lot of joy and satisfaction as well as being a creative outlet, so I see no need to feel guilt or shame. As for the money...hey, if your bills are paid and your family isn't starving or wearing rags, what you do with your spare money is your own lookout. I'm currently in training for my new job and my class is full of 20something girls who do nothing but obsess over clothes, makeovers, and getting the latest phone/accessory/whatever. I know full well they wouldn't "get" me and my doll hobby, but that's okay because I don't "get" them and their obsessions either. Nor do I wish to. To each their own.

[Kirahfaye]

I found out a long time ago, after purchasing my beloved umbrella cockatoo, that you are going to be questioned by people who don't understand why you would want to spend "that much money" on anything that doesn't interest them. I learned a lot from that and now I don't easily judge another person's chosen "money pit".

[DollyKim]

From what I understand doujinshi is a form of fan fiction, right? Are there better fan fictions free on the internet? Do you have just a few that you need and some you can let go? Step one with any fandom is limits. You have to know that you can't know anything and everything about a franchise. Decide what you want to enjoy and enjoy the hell out of it. I'll buy the DVDs, I'll give the dolls or figures a good look, I only have one t-shirt of my absolute favorite, can live without the wall paper. You can't enjoy stuff if it has to be in storage or hidden by other stuff. Yes, my Trekkers are in a bin because I don't have room to display them at this time but I haven't added more to them.

When I went serious in to dolls I decided to outright stop some things and work towards parting with them, which turned out to be a great idea, and trim and refine my enjoyment of others. I still do action figures BUT if they aren't the same roughly 5" Trek-Doctor scale to fit in with the core of my crew they might not come home, there are exceptions I just can't name any recent ones.

[SetsunaKou]

From what I understand doujinshi is a form of fan fiction, right? Are there better fan fictions free on the internet? Do you have just a few that you need and some you can let go? Step one with any fandom is limits. You have to know that you can't know anything and everything about a franchise. Decide what you want to enjoy and enjoy the hell out of it. I'll buy the DVDs, I'll give the dolls or figures a good look, I only have one t-shirt of my absolute favorite, can live without the wall paper. You can't enjoy stuff if it has to be in storage or hidden by other stuff. Yes, my Trekkers are in a bin because I don't have room to display them at this time but I haven't added more to them.

When I went serious in to dolls I decided to outright stop some things and work towards parting with them, which turned out to be a great idea, and trim and refine my enjoyment of others. I still do action figures BUT if they aren't the same roughly 5" Trek-Doctor scale to fit in with the core of my crew they might not come home, there are exceptions I just can't name any recent ones.

Oh you're so right, DollyKim-san! I'd like to take your advice on the 'hidden away' stuff, but it is hard to part with something you enjoyed so much once! I've been getting better, reselling some items on eBay but for the most part, I just can't do it yet for everything. I also have tons of doujinshi, stacked under my dresser, curios, anywhere they can find a space. Doujinshi are fanworks but are illustrated. They are more like comic books than a novelette. (Though there are some novel doujinshi.) Sometimes, the art is incredibly beautiful, which are the ones I try to collect. Other times it's really amateur art, but the storyline is cute. After going through hundreds and hundreds of doujin, I've come to the point at least, where I find a 'circle' (creating artist and her group if she has one.) I really like the artwork of, I'll buy all they create. But I try now not to go searching for all circles released doujinshi from a series like I used to do, because there's just too many and they are too expensive after all the deputy fees (A $4 doujin becomes $25-30 with all the fees and shippings. And that's a 'good price'.)

So, like you said---it's best to just focus on what you really enjoy most. Then you can use those saved funds on buying something important or giving extra to charities or buying gifts for those closest to you. That's what really gives you happiness more than 'hoarding'. I've really got to improve on this point, too! Thanks for being an inspiration!

[Alopecia No Hime]

My mom used to make comments about how she was worried about me (you know the: "I'm worried you're really insane" tone that's falsely dipped in sugar) and even when I showed her how proud I was of sewing something..She'd say that and make me feel horrible. Even though Haruka was a CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM HER. I finally sat her down and told her how she was hurting my feelings and making me feel like I should be ashamed to be enjoying my Christmas present...She finally realized how much she was hurting me and stopped...And started showing support and now she loves my dolls as much as I do...

Actually possibly more...She's insisted on several occasions on getting my dolls new things..She even said Haruka needs a brand new wig just the other day. We spent hours scrounging ebay together trying to find Avalon a wig same for Kazumi. She's bought me a Yo-SD for Christmas again and Avalon my MSD boy was a birthday present..She's changed a lot in how she supports me when I first started back in 2010...I feel more confident now and she even has a few dolls on her OWN wishlist she wants to get one day. (Including Doll Chateau dolls)

But I used to feel awful about it..I even stopped doing stuff with Haruka when my parents could see because I felt bad about it...And it turns out my mom only said that stuff because my dad was verbally abusing her day in and day out about it...Didn't make me feel better though but he's an asshole and out of our lives so there.