7 January – Performances from the P-Street Playhouse
"Greetings, Honorable Patrons of the Mixed Martial Arts! Tonight I am humbled to present to you..."
"An Evening with Teddy Roosevelt!"
"And his Big Stick!"
"... a demonstration of the many ways in which..."
"What's that on your sleeve, there, Teddy?"
"Didn't your mustache catch it all?"
"There's handkerchiefs, you know!"
"Or good ol' Kleenex!"
"... even so unworthy a lowly being such as myself..."
"What's the game, tonight, Ted?"
"Yeah! Are we playin' tennis or baseball?"
"Those headbands went out of style with Björn Borg, you know!"
"That's a mighty long bat; compensatin' for somethin'?"
"Or for... nuthin'?"
"... can use a simple wooden stick to CRUSH A ROOMFUL OF SKULLS, AS I SHALL NOW DEMONSTRATE!
Hiiii-YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"