Why, TigerBabe, my little Arctic sugar, of COURSE I'm still alive & kicking: remember I'm half Lithuanian and half New England Yankee farmers/sailors, both of which are harder to kill then cockroaches, & of which tend to come back sooner or later with a vengence...and then some.
The Lits are famous for being the last non-Christian country/ethnic group in Europe(all the way til the early 15th cent.) & for destroying (or giving a death-blow of sorts) to the fearsome Teutonic Knights about 100 years before that, merely by standing on the far side of a 'frozen', very deep lake, the ice in the center of which had been helped along by a little judicious chopping, then covered with snow. When the Knights came along in full heavy armor, chain mail, big heavy horses with big heavy tack, etc., the Lits just stood on their side & dropped their pants, enraging the Knights who promptly charged en masse, broke through the weakened ice halfway across, & burdened with such heavy armor & weapons, drowned along with their mounts. Only Knight stragglers & their servants were able to return to their main HQ.
Fueled with a very un-Christian desire for vengence, the Knights & camp followers (total @ 27,000) again headed for Grunewald (or in Lit, Zalgris), where they again were hammered by outside-the-box tactics including hit-&-run, ambush in the forests, and finally, annilation by encirclement. Even tho the Teuts tried to surrender, the Lits had their blood up & had fun chopping the Knights (In particular the Grand Commander as well as & the hapless campfollowers & servants) into hamburger. Of the 27,000 on the Teut side who set out, less than 1400 returned to the Teut stronghold/fortress of Marienberg, their strength permanently broken. Oh yeah: the Lits also sent the current Pope a nice letter inviting him to come visit beautiful Lithuania & experience the invigorating activities & interesting events of the place anytime he wanted. They then returned to their usual worshipping of trees, nature spirits, the sun, etc. They didn't finally 'convert' - sort of - until well into the late 16th century, when their Grand Duke married some Polish Princess, became King Jagiello of Poland, converted, and everyone started converting (to the Byzantine Rite, which the Roman church didn't count as Christian) because it was fashionable. The peasantry followed a sort of half-assed mixture of the ancient native rites & beliefs in nature gods mixed with pickings of appealing New Religion rites & beliefs. Even now, 500+ years later, if you find a roster of Lithuanian 'typical' names, you'll find that almost half of them are still 'pagan', dedicated to the moon, the sun, the winds, etc. as are about 60%+ of their customs.
The northern New England Yankees were just as stubborn & hardy. More so, if possible. Scrawny, wirey, taciturn, & extremely calculating, they were (& some still are) capable of making 'deals' of the sort that would embarrass a snakeoil salesman, leaving those who would scalp them as backwoods ignoramouses naked, penniless, & feeling for their missing hair & fillings. A relative few from the Green Mts. (Vermont/upper Mass./New Hampshire/Maine) beat a considerable force of professional Brits just with muskets for the most part (since cannon were a pain to drag over NE mountains or through woods & then get through the interminable stone walls). Midnight attacks that left the Brits exhausted & confused, ambushes from behind the endless stone walls, dense clumps of trees, & even denser clumps of tall bush blueberries (which when I was growing up there were considered in the nature of weeds: they were EVERYWHERE), drove the beleagured Brits all the way down to the Merrimac (river), Boston, and points South. The Brits never did come back & the Northern Yanks went back to their normal routines of wrestling livings out of perpetually stoney fields, building stone walls, pinching pennies, & taking gross advantage of innocents in trade deals (a few samples: the guy who sold iceboxes to eskimos; the guy who sold wooden nutmegs to the unsuspecting in Connecticut, and so on).
The point is, with these peoples for ancestors, not only would I most likely survive, after a good, thorough, self-indulgent sort of tantrum/breakdown, but also most likely come back with plans to entice my tormentors into stupid mistakes - & then save/use those against them to their eventual downfall, or at least a great deal of trouble, explaining, and sleepless nights at best; & at my most hopeful, trouble, fear, anguish, explaining, sleeplessness, losing their non-profit/tax exempt/solicitation of donations & worst of all, County financial support, which would entail virtual collapse in time. Not to mention the as-yet-unrevealed scandals of certain sr. Board members lying, cheating, misusing Public Tax Funds & Grant Funds over the years; false invoices written up by merchant connections to mask the 'real' purchases having no connection to the requested grant items; the 'station' items that somehow 'disappear' conveniently when part of the station is remodeled, as well as the purchase of far more materials than we would ever need, which also mysteriously disappear; bills for items belonging to the corporation privately which I am told to pay out of tax funds (& which I reported to both head auditors last October, because the field auditors were too stupid, inexperienced, and young to recognize them); & lately idly investigating the state & federal guidelines for Non-profits/tax exempts re: requirements in licensing, renewals, etc. & coming up with some VERY interesting ommissions on the sr. Boards' part (mostly due to ignorance by the bulk of them) and so on.
These same Sr. Board members think I'm stupid - "Just the Secretary" - but forget said Secretary spent years as a physical anthropologist mostly doing identification of human leftovers for the FBI, then working across the street at the FBI when they finally started their own forensics lab, until they moved to Quantico which was too far a commute for me, so I transferred to the IRS for 8 years, the last half as supervisor in charge of up to 5 Trainees before transferring to Intelligence Div., working with the FBI, Interpol, & others garnering evidence in criminal cases; before 'retiring' to this'yere Fire Dept. which I foolishly figgered would be full of altruistic, kindly, public-minded personnel agog to serve The Public - only to discover the entire Fire/Rescue System is a nest of political plotting, back-stabbing, deals, mental games, abuse, blame, and so on. I should'a filed a grievance 15 years ago instead of waiting til now. Still an' all, the drive to & from work is worth some of it, I do get to help innumerable people with directions (usually to How To Get To _XXX_ from West Cupcake, Ohio), give relief by granting access to travelers to our bathrooms/coffee urns/soda machine/ice machine, directions to the nearest car-repair shop, the hospital(s) in the area; who is being buried out of what funeral home in the area (even if deceased wasn't connected to, or a late member) at what day & time; where's the nearest such-&-such; directions re-routing people who have somehow wandered 'way off track, and so on. I consider these the most important parts of my job, because when people are in trouble the first place they turn for help is us, whether for directions, a snake out of a washing machine, or more urgently to save the life of those trapped in a head-on collision with a large tree or another vehicle, keep a heart attack victim alive til we get to the local ER, assist as backup to the police, and much, much more. I love the Public Service part. I could do this til I drop dead.
I loathe utterly the other half, the politicing, conniving, back-room deals, personal prejudice, & pettiness of the rest of it.
However, with (only) two years to go before minimum 'legal' retirement date, I think I have enough blackmail material to stick it out.
I may just drop the requests for retirement, since I'll have to pay full taxes anyway, & I'll certainly get more money working allowing me to pay off a goodly portion of my debts prior to moving down to Bristol, TN to my ex-roomie, Cindy & her family, who were kindly enough to take in a stranger - and a Damn Yankee stranger at that! - & make me part of them. Gawd knows I'll never lack for "kin" with them, since her mother was one of 11 kids, all of whom married and proceded to populate the earth. I know most of them pretty well by now, and have at least met the rest once or twice (usually at funerals, for some reason. Going to funerals is almost more of a family picnic & get-together than a memorial & send-off for the deceased).
BESIDES, and MOST Importantly: down there is a whole population of people almost totally ignorant of dolliehs. Talk about virgin territory for 'enabling'-!!! Arrowchild, Dear, you can come visit periodically & do some significant 'Missionary' work, you virulent Enabler you!!! Ditto Grey & Especially CirqueMom, although how CQ would manage to bring her entire menagerie (no, I DON'T mean Scarey Hubby) with her would be a nice problem in logistics.
There you all are: Today's 'rant' & endless drivel about the history & characters of obscure historical groups which are entirely irrelevant to the subject of dolliehs, our lives, work, or anything else. Frankly I strongly suspect those of you who tell me privately you "enjoy" or "miss" my expositions of arcane & useless knowledge & drivvel of having no social life whatsoever, insanity, or cramming for "Jeopardy".
I descend from my soapbox. You may all go back to your normal avocations & discussions. For the moment.
Yours,
Moi