Hey there
Rage_Girl!! Just a thought, how closely is her father going to be examining this doll? I mean, are we talking like "Daddy's going to be all up in your doll's business honey." or is he going to give it a cursory glance and ask a few questions? A lot of the male sculpts could pass for a tomboyish female. If she has her heart set on the male dolls and likes their sculpts better, you could sand off his poor little wee-wee (Oh GOD
) and have the doll wearing fantasy or plain style "gender neutral" clothes. Even knowing how effeminate most of the male BJDs are (not all of them, but most), I still have to squint sometimes and go "...is that...a girl...a guy....?" She would be the only one who knew her doll was a boy. She can even give it a gender neutral name too.
I understand her father's concern about the doll parts, even though I was raised in a much more liberal household and can't quite wrap my mind around it (all I can hear is my mother in my head seeing a BJD picture for the first time "Why isn't his **** bigger?"), but going so far as to not allow a nearly genderless doll isn't quite fair in my opinion, no offense intended.
As for the responsibility part, it sounds like you really trust her and if she's in love with them, let her have a dollieh! It may start a trend.
And a bit off topic: I find a lot of children need leashes. And harnesses. And straightjackets. It seems the concept of "delicate handling" does not enter their brain unless it's
their precious iPod/phone/whatever.