Ive been following this post for a while, thinking about what I want to say. It really hurts when someone criticizes you for doing something you love. Especially when the one criticizing what you love is someone important to you. I have always been fond of dolls. When I was a kid, my mother used to get mad at me because I would sneak into my sisters room and play with her Barbies. I used to get them out of the case and pretend they were all going to church. Then one day she caught me and scolded me out for taking my sisters things. But I think what hurt the most was finding out that "boys don't play with dolls". I didn't understand why. From that point on, I had always felt embarrassed being seen with dolls or even being seen in the Barbie isle at the toy store.
Throughout high school I collected dolls, but in a more "masculine" way. I collected Star Wars 12 inch dolls. I still have that collection, but I lost interest in them over time. I never took them out of the package. I just kept them in their boxes. But I found that it was more socially acceptable to collect dolls that a boy could associate with. I always had guilty pleasures when I found a Leia doll variant; I could get away with having a girl doll.
But I moved on to college.
In college I tried new things, met new friends, and found out that life had more freedoms than before. I lost interest in my Star Wars collection, that stayed behind at home. One day, staying up late in a pot educed haze of smoke and stale Cheetos, I found a Jenna fashion doll that I fell in love with. I was excited! I quickly bought it and waited eagerly for it to come in. When she finally came in, I put it on display on my coffee table in my apartment. At first I was apprehensive about having her out when people came over, but no one seemed to make an issue about it. Then some of my friends actually wanted to take pictures of her! We spent hours with the camera taking pictures of her with cats, blankets, bongs, etc. I found a new hobby through Jenna. Then I got married
After I had been married about a year and the honeymoon feelings died down, my spouse decided that she didn't like my doll anymore. She always complained to me about it. I had lost interest in that doll, since it had been years since I did anything with it, so I gave it to one of my friends, no sweat. After we had kids, I got the chance to buy them dolls. I was uber-excited about buying them dolls! Isn't that crazy?! So when I could I would take them to Monarch Collectables here in San Antonio (awesome doll store before they closed down...) and buy them Tonners, Aston Drake, American Girl, etc. I could live vicariously through them, because I still had an affinity for dolls. Then one day about a year ago, I finally got in my Iplehouse Luna, my first Asian BJD. Oh, Ive never seen anything like her. She is the most beautiful doll I have ever seen, and the girls love her too. I even bought my oldest an Iple JID Benny that looks just like her. For a while, things went great. I taught them how to care for them, how to comb their hair, how to dress their dolls...that's when the negativity set in. One day my wife came in and saw me combing my Luna, and started criticizing me. She would say how stupid I looked, and that I loved that stupid doll more than I loved her. Why would a grown man play with dolls? A grown man has better things to do with his time and money than to spend it on dolls. Even if he saves money, there are better things to spend your money on. It hurt. I felt as ashamed as that little boy a long time ago when his mom caught him playing with Barbies. It was a sucker punch, and I put my Luna away. It brought sadness to me knowing that I couldn't share my hobby with someone I loved. That they would seek to hurt me by criticizing something that I loved doing. I talked to her one day about it. I told her she needs to accept me for the things I like doing. It isn't right to judge anyone or say anything to devalue something that you like doing. So I said no. No, I will not put Luna away, and its going to stay right there on top of my dresser, thank you very much. I am going to comb her hair and buy her clothes, clothes for her, and for all our other dolls. If she doesn't like it, well that's just too bad. She is the one with the problem, and if she is going to stay married to me, then she is just going to have to accept it. I am in the process of buying a Souldoll Shiva Chantell ver 2!
Moral is, don't let people devalue your hobby just because they think its weird. Even if they are your friends or loved ones. If they cant accept you for who you are and what you like doing, move on. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading my story. Ive been waiting about a month to think about what I wanted to say. Thanks, maywong for this thread, I always wanted to tell my story about my doll problems, but Ive never found the courage until finding out someone else had similar problems.
