Doll Therapy and Family Troubles

[OkamiKodomo]

I've been absent from the forum a lot lately, haven't even been able to really lurk much. I sprinkled a post or two in, here and there, and I have PMs I've been meaning to answer (MeltedCaramel, I'm SO SORRY!! D:), but I haven't had a hot second with the new iPhone release, work is crazier than ever, and I have commissions, and more work, and trying to squeeze in a few minutes to work on my own dollies. I've reshelled Vespera in normal skin with a Soom Beryl body, but still with a ResinSoul Ai head. I have her body sitting here, and I need to order her head, and strip the candy color blush from her feet, and remake parts of her outfit... and I'm sitting here snuggling my biggest doll at the moment after calling out from work when I really can't afford to, because I just got blindsided with bad news.

Apparently, my favorite grandmother passed away several weeks ago and my brothers couldn't be bothered to tell me. Weeks ago. And I never knew, I never knew about the funeral, and I was IN NEW YORK for Dollism and I could have at LEAST gone to the grave to put some goddamn flowers on it. Assuming I could even find out where she was buried. I remember the big old house on the hill and all the flowers my grandfather had planted around it, and the big lilac bushes and my grandma's collection of "harlequin romance novels" as my mother liked to dismissively refer to her books, and the big plush easy chairs in the living room, and all the crystal prisms she had hanging in the window, and how she used to pop her dentures out to scare us, and she was always smiling. I never remember her ever being angry at us for anything. She always had some kind of treat for us, and never got us "dumb" Christmas presents (I was a child, and receiving socks and underwear from my other grandmother always upset me, because I didn't know any better).

I found all this out not an hour after I just found out my great uncle had passed away over the weekend. He was crazy as could be, combination a mental disability he'd been born with, an accident when he was a young adult, and the ridiculous "therapies" they did to people with psychological troubles in the 50s. By the time I knew him, there wasn't a lot left of the man he'd been when he was younger, but I remember him always being interesting. He loved chess, and cats, and had a little of each stuffed in every corner. I know he had at least six cats at one point. He lived in the upstairs apartment at my other grandmother's (the one that got me socks and underwear for Christmas) and he taught me how to get a Check Mate in two moves if my opponent moved a certain pawn, and my own personal playing style is reflective of how he taught me. I lead with my knights for open, then mid to endgame I use my rooks more heavily. He tried to teach me the actual grid of the board but to this day, it's all gibberish. He died in his easy chair and wasn't found until 20 hours later. My mother said he lived a lonely life and never married or had children... I know he was lonely, but I don't think it was because of that. I think it was because his own sister couldn't be bothered with him and took advantage of him every moment.

The strange thing was... I keep Shydran, the biggest doll I own, and the one I'm hugging now, on my nightstand a lot of the time, and last night, I had the urge to hold him as I fell asleep, knowing I'd wake up in a few hours to put him back. I checked the time stamp on my phone, and my mother originally texted me about my uncle at 2 in the morning. I can only guess at what time I woke to put Shy down, but I wonder if it was around that time. I went to bed around midnight. I didn't see her text until I woke at 9:30 today.

[Eseme]

*hugs*

I simply can't imagine not being told about something that important. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am very glad to hear you have such wonderful memories of them both.

My condolences,
Eseme

[Trethowan]

I'm sorry that you weren't told something so meaningful and important to you. That must be hard. I hope you'll have some down time for healing and rest.

[zirconmermaid]

I am very sorry for your loss, and send my condolences.

[Fyrsiel]

I'm sorry, dude. That's a lot to hit in a single day. Hope you find some time to rest.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Sorry to hear about your losses and the manner in which you found out. *hugs*

[WhiteDove01s]

Ouch, major fail on your brothers' parts there. You have my sincere condolences, not only on the loss of your gran but on the unnecessary added trauma.

[DollyKim]

I know where you're coming from. Dolls are greta to help you through things.

Get some lilacs and prisms and "romance novels" and cats and chess boards and honor your loved ones by doing the things and being the person they know you could.

[OkamiKodomo]

Thank you, everyone. I did call out of work yesterday, because all it would take would be one asshole that talked to me like I was stupid and threatened to leave Sprint just because I can't give him a free phone because he broke his, and I would've lost my mind. My girlfriend made me call out, after taking one look at my face. I'm still weepy, but I think I can make it through the day.

My grandmother collected Barbies too. She had some of the holiday barbies going decades back. I'm glad I never ended up selling the one she got for me.

[Iwa_Hoshi]

My condolences. Do take care.