Looking for advice/positive vibes...

[paladinari]

(I apologize in advance for the rant, and sincerely thank anyone who can manage to read it) ^.^*

Hi everyone. I'd like to turn to the Dollieh Sanctuary community for, what will hopefully be, a confidence booster. Or maybe only a reality check and a nice way of telling me to move on. It's just that this made me pretty upset today, and I could use some feedback from people outside of my own family and co-worker group.

I'm two years out of college with a Masters that I'm never going to use because I found out way too late that I just don't handle a classroom very well. I spent about a year and a half working in a library, once I got out of school, and I absolutely loved it! But it didn't make much money. When an opportunity arose, I took a chance on a temporary position that came up in my local hospital. The job has been far from perfect--I've found that heavy phones and doctors screaming at you to make miracles happen really wear on my nerves and I've been constantly stressed out--but I find that I do enjoy making a difference in the lives of patients... even if it's only making sure that their x-ray ends up in the right place.

I think that health care is far from my dream field of work, and I really love to go back to school to get my Masters in Library Science (which I need money for and, thus, need to put that dream off for a while. But hey, I'm young). Despite that, I think that working in a hospital could at least feel rewarding for me while I work to pay off my college loan debt. Case in point, I think I could hang around that environment for a while and at least be able to tolerate it (though maybe not my present job which, as I said, stresses me out).

I'm also living at home right now, which stresses me out more since I left my boyfriend and all my friends up in Connecticut. I have a tough time meeting new people, so I've basically been living he life of a loner here on Long Island for the past two years--traveling up to CT every month or so for a nice weekend, but coming home feeling even more depressed than before. My family is beginning to wear on my nerves, and my sister is about to move home for college herself, which will make this house seem very, very small. So, whether for better or for worse, I've only been looking for jobs in CT in the hopes that that is where I'll be able to end up.

However, with one month left to go in my temp job, I've been searching for a job in CT for the past three months with absolutely no hits. That is until last Thursday. I got a call from a hospital in New Britain (near Hartford) and the woman said that she'd like to speak to me about a job I had applied for. I had applied only the previous day! I was elated, of course. But this woman had called me at 9:30am and I only got her message at 4 that same day. Of course, I immediately called back hoping to speak with her.

But she was interviewing another candidate at the moment. They took my name and phone number and told me she'd call back. I waited two hours, and got no call.

The next day, I tried calling again at around 9:30. Again, they said that she was in with another candidate and was very busy. They took my name and my number (I even gave them my work number this time), and said she'd call back. Which she didn't. Very, VERY eager to speak to her before the weekend, I tried back around 3:30 on Friday. The woman I got was, unfortunately, the same one I had spoken to that morning. She gave me the same speech and then mentioned a bit snippily that if she didn't hear from her that day, that I'd hear from her on Monday.

I didn't hear from her on Friday. I didn't call her on Monday, and didn't hear from her today, either.

I lost it. I get disheartened so easily and immediately take it out on myself. CLEARLY she got fed up with me because I called too many times. CLEARLY she could care less about interviewing me because I live out of state. CLEARLY, after all those other candidates she's be interviewing, she already found someone for the job. All I could do was come home and cry.

Of course when I relayed all this to my mom, she told me that I should be more persistent and try calling back and that even though she hasn't talked to me yet doesn't mean that the job is gone. But then, she's my mom and is she REALLY going to tell me that I should just let it go?

It sounded like an interesting job and it probably could have paid me enough to move out of my house and back to my core group of friends. I had already begun to visualize what the job would be like, what extra curriculars I'd finally have the time and funds to do (like yoga), and where I would live and what I would decorate my place like. But I think that I might have just set myself up for major disappointment. And that hurts a lot more than just hearing from this woman (who, actually rather rudely, hasn't even taken the time to talk to me when SHE was the one who asked me to call in the first place).

So, is it a lost cause? Is there still a chance? Have I messed everything up by calling too much? Or have I not called enough? And why doesn't visualization seem to be working in my favor this time around? (I'm a believer in tarot cards, and my last reading DID suggest that I would be getting a job soon!)

Anyway, if nothing else, I feel a little better after typing all this. Despite how lousy this whole situation is making me feel (adding insult to injury, over and over again) the world will march on, regardless. I guess I have no choice but to see what tomorrow brings.

Again, I apologize for the rant!

[Greyhaunt]

last time I was unemployed and living with my parents I was miserably depressed and felt utterly hopeless. I was submitting resumes to dozens of jobs that were essentially the exact same thing I'd been doing at my prior job and getting not even one single interview. So I went to temp agencies and I got short jobs that kept my head above water, but nothing great. Then I got called about a temp to perm job, but I just had to wait a week for it to come through. I was so happy that I'd finally be getting back into regular work again that I thought the week was nothing to wait. But then it turned into two weeks and then suddenly the job order was canceled (not by my temp agency, but by the other company).

I felt destroyed, like I'd never get anything and I'd be living with my parents forever. Then a week later a temp job came up that was made for me. I sailed through the interview, and even though I didn't actually know the software they used they gave me the job and it was awesome.

My point is, sometimes what seems like the right one just isn't, but it doesn't mean there isn't a better one that just isn't open yet and maybe God/the Universe/the Force or whatever you choose to believe in is setting you up for something that you don't know you'll need. Be patient, be persistant, it will come.

On the call/don't call thing? I can't be much help - I never have figured out whether it's a good thing or not

[AlmySidaKay]

If in doubt you could always ask for an e-mail address and send an email?

[Stormlight]

I remember when in high school I was looking for jobs (I paid my way through high school since it was private, 'cause no way in HELL was I attending public), I was always told it was a good thing to call back and be persistent, because it let them know you were interested in the job and not just submitting applications to wherever it was most convenient. But then I was also told that being TOO persistent could end up having a negative effect. ^^;

I dunno. At this point, it seems you don't have anything to lose by continuing to call back. The worst they can do is tell you the job is taken. At best, they'll realize you really DO want the job and maybe will give you an interview. In the meantime, keep an eye out for other potential positions. Maybe something better will actually come along?

[OkamiKodomo]

I'm with GH on this one. I'm sure anyone who's been on DS in the past month know that I had a rough time with my last job. I was super excited to go back to work, after putting in dozens and dozens of applications, but when I got there, I was so completely disillusioned that I didn't even want to get out of bed in the mornings to go to work. I did more unpaid hours than paid, and if I didn't show for those unpaid meetings, which were an hour commute each way, or connect to the conference calls, burning my cell minutes that I was NOT reimbursed for, then I didn't have the "right attitude" for the job. And the meetings were total bogus, supposedly they were "training" but really, you went over the same things ten times each day, and then when the manager gave his little pep talk, it was about how much of an opportunity you were being given. I barely made enough money to pay for gas to get to and from those darn meetings, let alone the actual paying part of my job. Then, one of the assistant managers put a bug in the bossman's ear, and he cut my hours even more. I still don't know what she could've possibly said that would be so bad. Because I didn't wear make-up to work a booth in a Sam's Club? I have sensitive skin. I can't afford the necessary products to counteract the irritation of wearing make-up daily.

Anyway, I kept applying for new jobs, and I finally got a call back for a sales position... which was basically the same thing I was doing, but with better pay, no unpaid meetings, and a 10 minute commute (max of 20-25 minutes in bad traffic). I went to the interview, wow'd the manager, and she offered me the job. Two days before I came in for Orientation, she called me back and said she had a shift in her staff, and asked me if I was interested in a supervisor position. I jumped on it, and here I am, two weeks later, and loving it.

So, keep your chin up, Paladinari. Things will work out one way or another. The important thing is to believe good things will come to you. When a window closes, a door opens.

Personally, I say call one more time, and maybe tell a white lie. Say that you have another offer on the table, and you need to know if they are still looking to interview you, because you need to let the other offer know. I know being in that limbo state is hard.

[Alopecia No Hime]

I say try again and tell her: "I really want to get an interview for this job. Can you help me?" And ask to speak to someone else if she replies rudely again. You have a better chance if you speak to someone else.

[famedglory]

A lot of my friends(and myself for a while) were in the same position post graduation. And I know it sucks so bad. I had been putting my resume out constantly and to everything under the sun for five months and didn't get so much as a rejection. My previous employer was talking about taking me on permanently but basically just strung me along while getting me to do the maximum amount of work(way beyond my paygrade). And I thought I really wanted that job. I was pretty hurt and heart broken. And then one day I got a call back from one of the applications. My old bosses were still telling me they would make a position for me and that I should stick around(which I know wasn't going to actually happen). Two weeks later I started my new job and it's been great. I was really nervous about it and was afraid to leave the position I was in but it was worth it. My highly qualified roommates each had gone months (in one case near a year) without being able to find steady work. They kept putting their applications out there and eventually something bit. You just have to stick with it. One foot in front of the other and all that and eventually things will come together.

I'd give it another day and then call or send an email. Past that they'll either get back to you or they won't and it's all on them. Just keep putting your stuff out and don't loose heart.

[paladinari]

Wow, thank you for all your words of encouragement, everyone. I wasn't expecting to get so much good advice! I'm also grateful to hear so many success stories (Greyhaunt, OkamiKodomo, famedglory). Unfortunately with so many of friends being in the same boat as me, it's difficult to come across positive words of advice, rather than us all just comparing notes on how bad things seem to be getting. So I'm really thankful to hear first hand that these situations DO get better.

So, I'm going to put on a brave face and try calling again tomorrow. If they can't even honor their original call to me asking to speak to me, I might not want to work for them anyway, right? I think that five days of telephone tag is more than generous. And maybe calling again will show persistence.

Thanks again! ^.^

[OkamiKodomo]

I do agree about the honoring the original agreement being frustrating. I had an "interview" I went to before I landed that awful job with AFA, where I went 2.5 hours across town by bus, for a supposed interview, sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half, and then was told to turn in my application, but they're not actually hiring right now. I was left going "wait, so why was I asked to have an interview?"

[Gift_in_Edge]

My mother and sister are CNAs. They enjoy their work. Neither have worked in hospitals though. My mom does in-home care and my sister works at an independent seniors home. Their work is a little more layed back as in they don't always need a nurse or doctor over their sholder.

Not sure is this helps but good luck following your dreams!