Teh Suckz Thread

[Kirahfaye]

I have to say, that's one of the things that makes this forum special to me. We might not all see eye to eye on everything, we might never have the opportunity to meet, we might even not feel a connection with everyone here, but that doesn't matter - when one of us needs support, pretty much everyone here steps up.

[kenaiqueen]

People don't always know what to say about losses and grieving, but even when they say stupid things, it's generally meant kindly. I try not to take the words to heart...just the kindness intended. Peace to you both and wishing that you may be able to hold on to the precious happy memories of your loved ones.

[Greyhaunt]

Thanks Happyknot, and hang in there. The pain never totally goes away, but like a fine wine it mellows with time and becomes supplanted by the good memories. It's been over a year now for me and I've come to accept her not being there - though I truly can say I think of her often when I see or hear something I know she would have enjoyed. Last night I watched the show Tanked, on Animal Planet, and Neal Patrick Harris was on - she always got a kick out of him and perhaps, through my eyes, she got to see it

Anyway, on a totally new whine (and just because I need to vent) I'll tell y'all what sucks! Sucks is being sick for a FULL WEEK, waking up this Sunday with a nagging sinus headache that doesn't go away even when I take meds, going out to lunch with my folks and the food not being as hot as it should be, coming home to take more sinus headach meds and hopefully sleep it off only to have the ONE small child in the apartment above me apparently be on a massive sugar buzz because she ran around non-stop for 3 hours...it sounded like a herd of Wildebeast migrating across the serenghti. And when she wasn't running around thumping my ceiling and rattling my hanging lamps, the outside brats were racing one another on their annoying scooters....right past my front door and window where I was laying down trying to get rest ><

I'm ashamed to admit that when one of them thought it would be fun to crash into my front wall I snapped, went outside and told them (as they blamed one another) that I didn't give a fuck (yes, I said the f word) WHO had done it, I didn't want it to happen again, and I'd be damned happy if they'd stop ridding their scooters period since I was sick of listening to them. Apparently it worked...they stopped...now if only the kid upstairs would chill....

[happyknot]

It's not a sinus infection is it? I hope you feel better soon. Dealing with other people's noises are an absolute nightmare. If all else fails I recommend sound canceling headphones as a last ditch effort before moving out of sheer frustration.

I am not a stranger to death in the family. When I was 12 my father passed away - almost painlessly from what I understand. This is much different though. Trying to remember my mom from a time when she was herself and healthy is really hard because all I can think about is how she suffered unimaginably on the hospital bed and non of us, not even the doctors could help her. (with them saying "despite how it looks she can't feel anything"...and I didn't believe a word of it)

I've edited this post so many times because I keep saying too much and going into too much detail. It's all still fresh and heart sore. I hope at some point these won't be my memories of my mom.

Does that happen? Will the good memories eventually become more prominent?

[Jany]

Yes, they will. The bad ones still stick around because they're freshest, but over time you'll start remembering the good times more and more, like Greyhaunt said you'll start to see things that remind you of her in a good way.
I was pretty little when my grandma died, but even though I remember the bad times, I also remember making our own lemonade in her kitchen, raiding all the closets for sparkly things and building magical chandelier forests on her living room table, and how she once put her raincoat on me and a handkerchief on her own head to protect her hair when we got into an unexpected gale on our way back from the supermarket. My point is, even though the immediate pain overshadows the good memories right now, they are still there underneath and in time they'll resurface and take the lead again.
*hugs*

[DollyKim]

It's been 20 years with my grandmother but I'm looking at the Japanese crochet edging books I just discovered and thinking how much she'd be enjoying them too. We saw butterflies chasing each other at my great grandmother's funeral so they always make me think that someone in the family is looking out for us, butterflies chase away feelings of sadness and death any way.

[Yanagi-sen]

It's not family... but a week before school started a dear DEAR teacher friend at my former school was killed in a car accident. My classroom had been almost right across the hall, when I was there we chatted everyday, I went over to her house to use the shower when I had no water, we rode her horses together. I've never been so glad to NOT be at that school than on the first day this year. She was also one of those rare teachers who cared most for her students, then for the classes. She was passionate about sustainable living and conservation and renewable resources, and got the kids interested in Lego League and the Envirothon.

I think I'm missing her more than my grandfather who passed away last December. He wasn't in the best of health and even though it was sudden, it wasn't unexpected. She was only 57 and in great health. All I could think about for the first few days was why didn't I call her over the summer? Why didn't we go DO something? It's dulled so I'm not thinking about it everyday, but I know everytime I look at the tree I planted in the yard, I'll be thinking about her, and that's a good thing. So call/talk to someone today, family or friend, because we can never know what might happen tonight!

[Greyhaunt]

It's not a sinus infection is it?

Nah, it's just a lingering cold combined with allergies ;p My snot isn't "infection" colored yet (eeewwww) hahahaha

Does that happen? Will the good memories eventually become more prominent?

Absolutely. It takes time, and how long is dependent on each person, but it does happen. Just hang in there and remind yourself of the good things. At first it's hard, and you cry a lot, but eventually it gets easier and you find yourself smiling as you think of how they would react to something, what they would say, etc...

[knittnkitten]

my mom's getting a couple lymphnodes yanked out today because her new doctor is convinced the last once was a hack and wants to double check everything and then later this week getting a bone scan.

and I'm kinda driving myself crazy because of a comic book I'm writing/drawing and I have not had much feed back on it yet.

[DollyKim]

Could be an allergy, my Eustachian tubes have started clogging up when the winds blow after some rain. Better than my eyes but it's still not pleasant and everything running out of my ears is clear.