The Apocalypse is Nigh.

[Greyhaunt]

As most of us know, the Mayans predicted the end of their world would occur in December, 2012. It's become the theme of this year that in all likelihood we won't need to worry about our debts or politics or anything because before we even get to open our holiday gifts something will wipe us all out.

Up until today, I was not a believer.

Today, however, as I wandered through my grocery store, watching people stock up on Turkey and all the fixings, that I I realized I had just then also been witness to the first sign of the coming apocalypse! That's right, it wasn't Superstorm Sandy, it wasn't the economy, politics or any of the other obvious signs. No, it was right there before me on the end display of aisle 2.

There are no more Twinkies.

Hell, not only are there no more cream filled sponge cakes that, had they still existed, would have probably outlived whatever is destined to destroy us, there are no more Ding Dongs, Snowballs, or those cupcakes with the toothbreaking white zigzag of frosting on them.

There is nothing but a few lone bags of chocolate covered donut gems, lost and forlorn and forgotten in the frenzy that had cleared every last one of their brethren from the shelves.

It was devastation the likes of which I have never seen before.

How will the world survive without Twinkies? What will they deep fry alongside their Snicker bars at the next State Fair? Will there even be a next State Fair with such an insideous proof that the world's demise is approaching????

In solidarity, and sympathy, I purchased one of those lonely bags of chocolate covered donut gems, and I shall slowly devour them over the comng week, knowing that I will never see their like again, nor will I ever be able to indulge in that sinful experience of a Ding Dong when the sudden mood takes me.

I shall eat my gems and await the next sign of the apocalypse...not some freak on a horse, but probably something equallly pernicious....like another attempt by the Coke company to alter their formula for regular Coke.

The End Is Nigh!!!!


(in case you are wonder, yes, I'm being very tongue in cheek here...though i did buy a bag of chocolate covered donut gems)

[maywong]

LOL!

[jemlovecraft]

I, too, was greatly upset by the bankruptcy of Hostess... though their Cupcakes and Donettes were the only things I could really eat, I shall sorely miss them.

Little Debbie's is pretty good, but they don't do the creme in the center just right.

[E-Beth]

When grandma packed our lunch (very rarely) she'd include a foil wrapped King Don (ding dong). I loved peeling the outer chocolate off and then eating the squishy center and then, somewhat half-heartedly, eating the sponge cake part.

[Greyhaunt]

When grandma packed our lunch (very rarely) she'd include a foil wrapped King Don (ding dong). I loved peeling the outer chocolate off and then eating the squishy center and then, somewhat half-heartedly, eating the sponge cake part.

Yes, that's how I ate them as well - and I think really they will be the only thing I miss. But I anticipate someone will buy the whole thing and start up the company again. I'm fairly sure this bankruptcy thing is a maneuver that will allow them to not have to give in to the union talks and start over without all the problems by "selling" the company to someone else (that I bet will be an agent of the current owners).

Call me cynical, but it's how big corporations work.

[Dirili]

I know! It's so sad!
Hostess was like a great American past time.
This totally derails the Zombieland story... not to mention the episode of Family Guy where they go looking for the Twinkie factory to survive off of after the apocalypse.

I kind of do hope someone will buy them out just to keep the snacks in circulation. And hopefully they won't change them.
Oh! I loved the orange cupcakes. I think that was them...

[cirquemom]

The Mayan Apocalypse has been cancelled, didn't you hear? All those people were buying food for the next over-hyped disaster- the Fiscal Cliff.

[Trethowan]

I've holed up in my bunker with enough ammo and twinkies to last another millennium. Bring it Mayans, I'm ready.
*insert pump shotgun cocking noise here to set the mood of awesomeness*

[yarwel]

Never fear, people of earth, the twinkie-torch shall be passed!

In all seriousness, I'm pretty sure somebody will buy the rights and recipe to make twinkies(and ding dongs, etc.).

[cirquemom]

Look at this: A photograph of all the ingredients in a twinkie.
www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_021V002518531000P

According to Hostess, the shelf life of a twinkie is 27 days.
GET SERIOUS!!!!!!!!
Maybe it was a type and they meant 27 years.