I send many hugs your way, and hope that everything will start to come together for you soon! <3
A hobby isn't supposed to leave you wistful, regretful and vaguely disappointed. BJD collecting is as customizable as the dolls themselves. Do whatever pleases you the most, because otherwise, why do it at all? All for the 'Gram Bitches love the 'Gram.
As someone said earlier, this is a opportunity to find an even better job! Wishing you swift re-employment. (PS, Alaska is always looking for skilled people and we get a Permanent Fund Dividend every year. )