Some questions about bonding

[Nella]

I'm really curious about what other owners think about bonding. For some background, there's a doll I've wanted since she was released that is for sale on the second-hand market and the seller is in my country. However I'm hesitating on buying her because I'm worried that I won't bond with her or that she won't work out for the character. I've never not bonded with a doll to some degree, so I'm scared that I wouldn't bond and that there'd be regret.

So my questions are:
1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?
2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?
3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?
4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?

[Nella]

I'll start off by answering my own questions.

1. Bonding does matter to me because otherwise it means that I don't like something about the doll or how it feels for lack of a better term.

2. I've bonded immediately with some of my dolls but it took some time with some of the others. I loved Fleur and Finn the moment they were out of the box. Dru I bonded with a bit but once I got her the proper clothes and faceups, that's when she really came together. it's hard to tell when I bonded with Alwyn because she was the first BJD I ever saw in person. I think it happened some time in the first year that her previous owner had her. It had nothing to with her character, it was purely the feel and looks of the doll. I had a scare with Viviana because I didn't feel the same pull with her as I did with Finn. Once I changed her wig that started to change but I questioned myself when I didn't have the same reaction as previous box openings.

3. I take pictures, write stories with the characters and change eyes/wigs/clothes to bond with my dolls. I've found that so far, doing my own faceups has allowed me to bond better with my BJDs. Getting a feel for the character as well as for the physical doll helps me to bond. Of the five, only one was chosen for an existing character but another was chosen to fill a developing idea for a character.

4. I haven't not bonded with a doll yet, though as I mentioned, I had an hour where I was scared that I wasn't bonding with Viviana. I don't know what I would or feel if I didn't bond with a doll. I do know that I can come up with characters on the fly but I still worry.

[takahirokumiko]

1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?

Yes, bonding does matter to me because I like to have a doll that I want to love and do stuff for.

2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?

It depends on the doll. Concerning my BJDs, I bonded with Akane the moment he was out of the box. Kharis, on the other hand, took a couple of days.

3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?

I usually sew something for them, so they have something to wear.

4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?

Concerning BJDs, I've bonded with both of mine. Akane didn't turn out like how I wanted him to be, but I still love him. Besides, he's made his own character, and it suits him well. I would probably feel frustrated if I didn't bond with a doll because I would want to and couldn't.

[DollyKim]

On the have to evacuate take what you can carry end it's Xavier and Bram even to the point of leaving behind ones I've made. I might love those in the dollhouse a bit more, getting a name is a big step. I have dolls because I can leave them alone and not worry about their well being if my life takes me that way.

Not bonding has never been a reason to get rid of a doll. Once a "custom" comes in they're pretty much here forever. I have no feelings for Taffy outside of him being a trophy for winning a photo prize and I have so few awards that I'm keeping him. Some dolls run hot and cold, some are only here for my website and I only touch them to move them.

Some of the dolls are from characters in my universe, some happen, some are other peoples' characters. They come when they come and happen when they happen.

[Yanagi-sen]

1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?

Yes. If I don't have a bond with a doll... all it is going to do is sit on the shelf or worse in a box.

2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?


I start a bond before they even arrive. I look to create a certain character, pick out the right sculpt, hair, eyes, etc... so that when they arrive, their personality is already present for me.

3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?

What I just said for 2, but also I make almost all their clothes, working for HOURS with just one doll helps to cement bonds for me.

4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?

I don't think I've really bonded that much with a doll I bought second hand... but I've really purchased him more to help out a friend and should she be in a better financial position and want to buy him back, he return to her. So I feel like I'm more of a caretaker than a new owner.

[Greyhaunt]

Not "bonding" happens to everyone eventually, but you shouldn't let worries about that stop you from buying a doll.

That said, if you have those concerns already, maybe you don't really want the doll or deep inside you already sense something wrong.

Anyway, if you want a doll I say buy it. Remember that you can always sell it again! I've almost never had problems selling a doll that I ended up with and didn't want after all.

[Nella]

Not "bonding" happens to everyone eventually, but you shouldn't let worries about that stop you from buying a doll.

That said, if you have those concerns already, maybe you don't really want the doll or deep inside you already sense something wrong.

I know it will happen sooner or later so I count myself very lucky that I've gotten 5 BJDs without running into it yet. Right now I think I'm going to let that doll go by or at least wait for a bit. I took some more time to figure out what's going on and I think it's because it isn't time for that character to come home yet. The doll is beautiful but without that character to shell she'd just be another pretty face. I knew immediately that there was a problem when I was more excited with the idea of getting a practice head over getting this doll that has been on my wishlist.

[Pandor]

1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?

Yes. If we don't bond, one of us has to go. And it's not gonna be me.

2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?

It always takes time to know for sure. Sometimes I think we're going to bond right away, and that feeling ends up wearing off. Sometimes I get the doll and think it just isn't going to work out, but after sleeping on it for awhile we end up bonding. It all comes down to time.

3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?

Generally I have to put my mark on a doll to feel like it really belongs with me. Give it a custom face-up, new eyes, new wig, new clothes, maybe just alter the face-up a tiny bit, maybe even a new body... if I'm too hesitant to change the doll in some way, I'm most likely not going to bond with it. Though there have been a few exceptions to this.

4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?

Yes. It's never been an upsetting experience, though. Since bonding with a doll means feeling strong emotion towards it, if I don't bond with a doll it just feels like apathy. So it's literally just a "meh" and shrug it off experience.

[zirconmermaid]

1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?

Yes, because if I don't bond with a doll I don't like the doll. Ball Joint Dolls are a little different than most dolls, because they are special.

2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?

Most of them I fall in love with before they get here. Occasionally I have had to spend time with the doll, to really cement who they are and where they fit into Hazel's world. I have had visiting dolls that I bonded with! Good thing I am friends with their owners, and one of them I loved so much I tried to find one like her. I did like the replacement, but it wasn't the same. So when the opportunity to get the original doll presented itself, the replacement found a good home with someone else and I got the doll!

3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?

I keep them next to me, cuddle them, make clothes, change eyes, change wigs, think of things they would do or like, and take pictures of them. Sometimes it's just seeing them - Hazel was like that. Sometimes it is getting to see what the doll is capable of. I have a fondness for interesting engineering in dolls.

4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?

Some of them are less important than others, but no, I have always found a place for them and added them into the main doll household. This of course, is only the ball joint dolls (including small Obitsu). When it comes to other dolls I have owned, then yes, I have had some I didn't really care for. Usually they just got stored or sold. As was said above - I didn't really care about them one way or the other. Very occasionally there has been a doll (not one of mine) that came into the house and I actively disliked it. But I was never attracted to that one in the first place. I have had some here that I have sold for friends, and didn't even try to bond with.

[Iwa_Hoshi]

1.Does bonding with a doll matter to you?
In some ways it matter since i have to work with the doll on clothing project and stuff.

2.Do you bond with your doll right out of the box or does it take time?
Some charmed me right out of the box while others as much as I like them, they seem to be on a cordial relationship with me. We 'acknowledge' each other existence ('There's some one in there' 'Oh hi. so you're my master' -_- ) and that's it.

3.What do you do to bond with your dolls?
I do their faceups, root the 1/6ers, find wigs and eyes. Sew them clothes, take them out for shoots, keep one with me for scouting trips and random shots. Some days I just glance at them and they 'give' me an idea what project to do next

4.Have you ever not bonded with a doll? What did it feel like?
I mention it before some dolls just seem to 'know' I'm there but don't really want to open up. Some of them are just here to accompany someone else(Casey). They would still work with me but they won't let me 'get too close' (Medi-Chun is still in the shadows of Obi-Chun unfortunately).
I have two worst case scenarios whereby I bought and as well as customed fave character dolls and they don't bond with me to the point that they practically left the main team and go back into headspace.