There within the darkness of his mind hid a thousands breathy laughs and fingers playing upon his skin. His lips parted and were met by lips so warm. Hair like spider silk black upon the darkness, blew across his face. If he turned... he would be there. If he turned, he knew, he would see those swirling eyes that never settled and feel his warm arms. He could hear him... It's OK D. I'm right here. Yanno I'm just here. Ya gotta wake up. Come on. Dallieh, Wake up.
"I'll just stay here a while. I want to see the sun rise one last time... then I'll join you, I promise. I'm so tired."
It was his name in that voice as if in response to what he'd just said. It was his name again, an echo, in a voice that was closer as someone knelt beside him crunching down in the snow. He could feel warmth so close. His name again as he tried to focus his eyes. All he could see was the darkness. If he could just turn. He was so sure if he could just turn.
"Just let me rest so I can see him again. Let me sleep so I can find him in the darkness and feel his arms around me."
He was slipping away with the cold. It had all hurt anyway. There was nothing left to walk toward, only that brilliance that shown up from behind him. All he had to do was turn, but his limbs felt like they were chained to the snow. It was his hand before him, resting on a whalebone. His Angel always thought he was so strong, but in the end... in the end he...
"It feels better to just be numb. It is better to remember only you, than to remember each day without that I have staggered through since..."
"I remember what it was like... to be with you. To belong to you. To burn for you. To touch you. I don't want this anymore. I want that to be all that I am."
"I knew... I knew that I would always be alone but not that you would want me. I knew that I would feel the cold, but not because you warmed me. I knew you. I will never forget. You will be my last thought, and my first... every time I rise. My Angel... I'm so tired. You taught me once how to make the pain go away. I knew... but I have forgotten."
"Because I was whole with you. I don't know how to BE without you. I've forgotten how to fly."
"All I had to do was hold you... and I let you slip away. I failed you. I failed you."
"I tried...
feeling nothing is better than knowing I will never feel you again."
"I can keep my promise. I will never forget that silly smile... those swirling eyes. The way he moved me. The way he was me. Even now I can taste his breath upon my lips."
"A coldness has grown... an ache I can not thaw. From the moment my heart once more became still till the flames claimed his gentle bones, it was born and now it threatens to consume me. Let the day come. Let it take me away and replace this ache with fire. Only bones will be left of us. Everyone will forget and only bones will remain."
It was not the dawn that had come. It was the cold that raped his mind. There was so much that Dallieh could not see. How he ached to tell him. How it hurt to see him stumble, to see the path before his eyes, once so certain now scattered and lost in snow and ice. It was just a little bit further. Cain knew that it was just a few more steps and then they would be warm. It was not the sun that threatened to rise, but starlight dancing across the endless white. HE couldn't say it out loud, not yet. He would. soon he would tell him that there was warmth for him.
"Of them all... You are the only one who was able to embrace the beast that had always claimed me. Dallieh, I will not let you fall. You will rise."
Strong arms about him. Warm arms that scooped him up like he was so much downy fluff and bore him away. Why couldn't he turn? Why did it feel like he was so close if he couldn't turn. Why did his Angel not reach for him? His fingers grasped at cloth, at leather, and finally smoothed through long black hair. His breath caught as he tried to focus. His fingers tangles in black spidersilk as it blew across his face. He closed his eyes and surrendered to the darkness.
