#58 Unseen
“We’re too late,” Ivan said.
“No pulse,” Foster said.
“Something doesn’t seem right,” Ivan said.
Foster said, “Agreed. His neck is broken. What about the other one?”
“Alive,” Ivan said. “But his jaw seems to have been shattered. Surely a dying elf didn’t do this to a werewolf.”
“Especially so close to a full moon. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Foster asked.
“Probably not,” Ivan said. “Your mind is far too twisted.”
“Well, I was thinking about torturing him for information,” the fairy said. When Ivan huffed he squealed. “You WERE thinking what I was thinking!”
“I can get answers without torture, thank you.”
Foster asked, “What should we do with the body?”
“Let the police handle it,” Ivan said. “I want to know who these people are and why they make it their business to interfere in mine.”
“Sunrise will be upon us too soon. Let’s not waste any more time.” Foster dusted off his hands.
“Wasting time? You’re the one stopping for food every ten minutes."
“I require mana!”
“I think that’s just an excuse to eat at my expense,” Ivan growled.
“That is untrue,” Foster said. “Mostly.”
“Perhaps you’ve simply sprung a leak and are too proud to admit it.”
“That cut deep, vampire.”
Gabe woke to a pair of upside down, maniacal, purple eyes boring into him. Oh boy. I’m screwed. With luck Abe is right behind me.
“Raise him higher,” Ivan grouched. “I can’t very well interview a man’s crotch.”
“You can have your turn after I’m done with him.”
“He’ll be a newt before you’re done with him and I’ll get no answers out of a newt. Raise him up.”
“Cooperate and I’ll have no reason to harm you,” Ivan said.
“Please resist so I can torture you,” Foster shrieked from the ground, interrupting Ivan.
I am so very screwed... “Say, either of you gents got a Tylenol? My jaw’s killin’ me.”
“I can send you home with your jaw in a doggie bag if you don’t answer my questions,” Ivan snarled. Foster clapped in approval.
“Far be it from me to piss off a vampire of your advanced age,” Gabe said with a snort. “You medieval types are always so violent. Iron maiden, the rack, rats, garrote, the wheel, thumbscrews… What’s that about anyway?” Ivan raised a single brow and Gabe sighed. “What do ya wanna know, Grandpa?”
“I demand answers,” Ivan said. “I will know if you’re lying so don’t waste my time.”
“Lie to him!” Foster squealed with rabid delight.
“You’re kinda creeping me out, lil’ dude,” Gabe said. The werewolf unloaded the same basic spiel that Abraham told Jillian, except his rendition wandered down a few too many rabbit trails. He finally worked his way toward present day. “Abe was trying to help you, man. I know it sounds crazy but it was the only thing he could think of to prove it wasn’t you. You’re lucky you’ve got a guy like him on your side.”
“If that is true, then why did your elf friend attack Micah in an attempt to kill me?”
“Zo just wouldn’t accept it when Abe said he wanted to recruit you. I kinda figured he’d just bitch about it then get over it like he did with Bertrand,” Gabe said. “Never figured he’d go off the deep end, you know? I’m really sorry about the kid. He’s okay isn’t he?”
“We don’t know yet,” Foster said. “We’re too busy chasing after you to check on our friend. I am required by custom to deliver a helium balloon and candy! How am supposed to deliver a floating bag of air and confections if I’m busy chasing after you! If the boy dies I will turn you into a fly and feed you to a spider. I’ll squish the spider and feed it to a frog and then I’ll gig the frog!”
“Ease up there, Yzma. I thought fairies were supposed to be all sparkles and cupcakes.”
“This one’s a bit demented,” Ivan mused. “But the cupcakes are quite accurate.”
Ivan asked, “How was your jaw broken?”
Gabe opened his mouth to answer but stopped, his eyes glazing over. “I don’t know,” he said. “Zo must’ve punched me. He’s got a mean punch. I was trying to get him to Emil’s place but…there was…” he drifted off. Ivan peered into Gabe’s eyes to see for himself but he could only see a shroud of mist. His mind slipped away from the mist and had Foster not started squawking about sending gigged frogs into space via helium balloon, he’d have forgotten all about his questions.
“You ain’t gotta worry about me,” Gabe said, coming back to his senses, “but head office still wants this thing resolved. They’ll go over Abe’s head and send someone in from corporate and those bastards don’t play around. Look, Grandpa. We ain’t got nothing but a trail of bodies to go on. It’s like we’re hunting a ghost. Will you help us? Please? It’ll go a long way towards clearing your name with the big wigs.”
“I don’t care how big their wigs are. I will not be policed by some silly organization nine-hundred years younger than me,” Ivan said with an air of disdain. “If you agree to stay out of my business I might consider looking into this little problem of yours. Also, you must agree to fix Micah’s motorcycle for free, forever, including parts. Agreed?”
“Grandpa, you’ve got a deal.”
“The only appropriate response is ‘yes, your majesty’,” Foster huffed. “Commoners. So crass.”
“No respect these days,” Ivan said. “Very well, you shall have your truce. Well, then. We’ll be going.”
“Hey… hey, guys?”
Foster called out, “The spell will wear off… eventually.” His maniacal laughter echoed through the corridors of abandoned building.
“What?” Gabe shrieked. “C’mon guys, lemme down!” After he was alone for a while he grumbled. “I gotta take a leak.”
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The abandoned building picture was ganked off the web. GANKED. I'll go to jail if they catch me.