Well first off a month or two ago, my brother in law was in a bad car accident thankfully he wasn't hurt too bad, just minor cuts and bruises.
Second, on May 2 I ended my 2 year courtship with my boy friend. I was left with no choice. We had been best friends since I was 11 (I think I was 11) anyway 2 years ago I realized I felt different about him. So I wrote him a letter and a poem of how I felt and gave it to him. I was afraid he didn't feel the same but I wanted him to know anyway even if he didn't want to be friends anymore because of how I felt. (that's what I was afraid of) He wrote me a letter back telling me he felt the same, and we stared courting. The poem I wrote him is no longer personal to me so I'll share it. (I still have a copy of it
) I wrote it 3 years after my sisters wedding. I was one of her bridesmaids. Here is the poem:I was afraid to dance.
I was afraid to take that chance.
I was afraid of feelings that could bloom,
Feelings that might cause doom,
To a friendship oh so dear,
For this was my greatest fear.
Now I must say I sorry.
I'm sorry for the dance we never shared.
I'm sorry for the fact that I was scared.
I'm sorry for the words I left unspoken.
Now it feels as if my heart is broken.
You may not know,
Or you may have knew,
All this time,
That I Love You.
After we started courting, at first everything seemed fine, but he changed, he started degrating my figures (he has figures too!) and degrating and complaining about my job. I can't work outside of my home, so my hair rooting and clothing making is my only source of income. (thankfully since I live with my parents I don't have many bills) He obviously doesn't want me to work. I never once said anything negative about his figures or his "job", I always tried to support him. Isn't that what people who are planing to marry do? Be positive and give support? I did that for him so why couldn't he return it to me? He was so negative to my work (which is my figures) that he even complained when I would put my money back into my work. I tried to help him with his negative attitude but that was all in vain. He was sucking all the joy out of my life, out of everything I that made me happy, so I did the last thing I had left to do, I ended the courtship, but not the friendship. Thou with how his is acting now, he don't even want to be my friend anymore. I know this because yesterday as soon as he saw me he ran like I had the plague. oh well. I even had told him that I wanted my friend back, the one I had before we had started dating. But I know that friend is gone for good.
Because of what I had to do I wrote 2 more poems. I'll share them here too. I haven't shared them with him and I don't think I will. Usually I title my poems, but the one I first gave him didn't have a title and one of the new ones don't have a title either. Here are my new poems:
I walked away, tired and worn.
From pain, all twisted and sworn.
What I was in was suppost to be warm.
But cold it was, and heartache it born.
From joy and happiness I was torn.
My soul burned from pain and wanted to skorn,
The one that turned that place from warm,
To a cold prison with heartache it born.
So out of love I go away tired and worn,
So the one that put me there I will not skorn.
I leave the place that was not warm,
And return to the happiness from which I was torn.
Never again my joy will be taken, this I've sworn.
LOVE is suppost to be happy and warm.
So I'll be just as I start, from when I was born,
With family, alone, happy and warm.
Title: I say goodbye
I took a chance on LOVE with another.
With a friend, a spiritual brother.
I say goodbye.
Everything seemed fine at first.
But over time it steadily got worse.
I say goodbye.
For a time with him joy I had,
But he decided the joy go bad.
His attitude soured, how sad.
I say goodbye.
My mind weighed down to the point of breaking,
With heavy heart and tears no longer left to cry,
I say goodbye.
I've done all I can do, it's true!
No longer can I say I Love You.
I say goodbye.
Well it's sad that it had to come to this. But I won't allow someone to take my joy away from me. Even if they are suppost to be my friend. As my father says: "Never give your power to anyone".
Thank you all.