by Greyhaunt » Sat Jul 07, 2012 4:30 pm
Some of you, but not all of you, will notice an exchange from earlier today is no longer here? There were four people involved in that discussion - if you were not one of them then you probably have no clue what I'm talking about and this is probably not aimed at you, but you can still read if you want to.
Ok. I think this is an important time to reiterate some basic facts about this forum, and this thread in particular. I want people to pay close attention here because if I have to repeat myself about these things I will LOCK THIS DAMN THREAD PERMANENTLY...ok?
THIS IS A DOLL FORUM. IT IS NOT NOW NOR NEVER HAS BEEN A REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR PERSONAL BLOG AND NEITHER THIS THREAD NOR ANY OF THE OTHER GENERAL THREADS SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE ONE.
Everyone has a bad day, a bad moment, a bad encounter that they just want to vent. Since this is a small forum we've come to think of ourselves as being not just a group of doll lovers, but also a group of friends - and that's awesome, that's how I want this place to be and I work hard to keep it that way. So I don't mind that we have a sucks thread and that people can do a quick vent about something like the car breaking down, losing a job, missing out on tickets to a concert, having a bad day at work, etc... Even being sick can come up - you know, I've got a cold, I'v got the flu, I changed meds and it's making me loopy, etc...
You'll note that my examples, on a whole, are what you might call "superficial". They aren't the sort of deep life issues that are better off being discussed with your therapist or with an online support group. Because we are neither. We are a doll group and while we can sympathize with one another and give some help advice or shared experience, we really should not be involved in the unalterablely deep issues of life. For those - get a blog or a therapist.
And if someone does post something that gets into some of those deeper life issues - answer it as if your words were weights on a scale and based on their possible interpretation they could conceivably tip it totally on its side and ignite chaos. Sometimes the best response, particularly if you don't know the writer well from long experience, is to simply not say anything at all. It is not the quantity of posts in the forum that makes for a valued and popular member of that forum, it's the QUALITY of their posts. Look at some of our long time, most upstanding members and you'll see that they dont' necessarily post a lot - but they post well when they do. This is not to say that frequent posters are bad - by no means, some folks are chattier than others and that's not bad - but it pays, particularly in certain threads to think before you post.
I, personally, have now spent nearly 1/2 of my Saturday deleting posts, reassuring some people and now publically chastising others and personally that is a major suck and I don't want to have to do it again.
As usual when I post a chastisement I am not naming names - that's not what I do. If you are one of the guilty parties then I expect you know it and I ask that instead of PMing me to apologize you just think about why I may have felt compelled to write this and try not to do it again. That means far more to me than any PM, trust me. On the other hand if you feel you are a target of this and shoudln't be, feel free to PM me. If you aren't I will reassure you, and if you are I will have no problem spelling out for you, in detail, why.