Teh Suckz Thread

[SugarCorpse]

i dont get why pickles either.... but for some reason just pickles or just chocolate milk wont work for me..... it has to be both... it might just be in my head but i'm just as happy believing it works, if it makes it work.

and i used to have longer more constant depression around puberty, which is why my doctor is convinced its hormonal depression... which makes sense because it usually takes place just after my time of month now. or just before. for some reason never during and never at a time when its not coming or going.... i really hate how my body does this to me but atleast i have an idea of when im going to feel that way...

[DollyKim]

Could be a chemical reaction with the pickle ingredients.

As for a grr, am I the only person who doesn't give a #@$! about ancestors? Am I allowed to be sick of the "we're related to royalty" bull? Can I be the only one in the house who doesn't want to spend the whole morning hearing or caring about the person you spent five minutes talking to on the bank hot line? You've spent my entire life generally not "hearing" me or caring about anything I do that isn't exactly what you like.

I would so be out and taking how ever many busses I'd need just to have lunch outside of the house if I wasn't being held UPS hostage for something that was supposed to be delivered last week. It's the package with the eyes and nose for the knit Blarney.

So if you want some advice on not going nuts and telling you're family to STFU today might be a good day for it, or not.

[Sixoclock]

I am in NO WAY diagnosing you.. But, I will say, a week before that time of the month I nearly flatline. PIssed off, want to cry for no reason, down about everything, forget about creativity (which makes it even worse). It COULD be low serotonin. Your serotonin level drops around that time of the month. If your serotonin is low already, it gets even lower (this is the way it was explained to me)-- which could be the cause.

Chocolate initiates the production of dopamine in your body. Dopamine is one of your pleasure center neurotransmitters. I'm not sure about the pickles though.

Low dopamine, serotonin or norepinephrine (all neuroctransmitters) all could contribute to deperession. Sometimes there's an imbalance with more than 1 as well.

As for today and the Celexa... I have a slight foggy headed feeling and I am wired. Heartbeat is quick. Hands are shakey. I am twitchy as all hell. I most certainly feel like I am on drugs.

It does worry me about this killing creativity. That was one of the main concerns I brought up to my DR and will bring up again when I see her next. That simply cannot happen. I'd rather suffer through the depression than lose that vital part of myself.

i dont get why pickles either.... but for some reason just pickles or just chocolate milk wont work for me..... it has to be both... it might just be in my head but i'm just as happy believing it works, if it makes it work.

and i used to have longer more constant depression around puberty, which is why my doctor is convinced its hormonal depression... which makes sense because it usually takes place just after my time of month now. or just before. for some reason never during and never at a time when its not coming or going.... i really hate how my body does this to me but atleast i have an idea of when im going to feel that way...

[Sixoclock]

Ahhh, did a little google-ing and as it turns out.. Pickles also can produce Tyramine - which causes the release of dopamine.

[yarwel]

Popcorn is said to release those kind of hormones too, if I recall correctly, so that's another comfort food option.

[SugarCorpse]

Ahhh, did a little google-ing and as it turns out.. Pickles also can produce Tyramine - which causes the release of dopamine.

that's awesome! so its probably not just a placebo effect with me then. lol

i also worry that taking something may kill y creativity. It's good to know you wouldn't let it happen to you!

thank you for all the info <3

[Trethowan]

I used to be suicidal. I liked to wallow in my own self-pity and negative feelings in a downward spiral of self-imposed despair. I was emo before it became a fashion statement. I was all about death and despair and I wrote crappy teen angst poems about being miserable and dying and how cool Emily Dickinson was. Not anymore. I'm generally cheerful, content, and at peace. I have the occasional moody spats and I'm still quite sarcastic and grouchy about the things I'm a grouch about, but I'm not sad all the time.

Back in the day, call them the turbulent 20s, I typically cycled back and forth between hard-core numbing depression and fake euphoria trying to make myself feel something. I wasn't bipolar, I just tried too hard to feel good through silly behaviour that seemed like a manic episode. I was in full control of my faculties though, so no excuses. I tried anti-depressants but it just made things worse. The problem wasn't chemicals misfiring in my brain, it was just all the issues that I needed to sort out. I had a people-pleasing problem, was desperate for outside validation for my value as a human being, grew up with a verbally abusive, controlling, manipulative father, my mother was an emotional vegetable (completely disconnected) and I didn't understand my own emotions and other assorted minor issues. So, how was I to deal with all of that?

Once I sorted out things I had a major breakthrough. I never saw a professional, I just did it on my own. I wish I had sought out a counselor though, someone to help ask the hard questions and steer me toward a faster conclusion. Maybe that's why I've become a counselor now. I like helping people. A lot of it had to do with my development as a Christian, trying to figure out the religion thing versus relationship with Christ thing. I never quite got into the tradition of religion because southern-style Christianity, especially in the 80s, seemed terribly restrictive and not very biblical. It always felt like a social club and the women were just as back-stabbing and catty in church as anywhere else. I never saw much of Christ in the youth groups my parents stuck me in. I liked Jesus though and the gospel message so that took some sorting out. I can't live another day was replaced by I can do all things through Christ. Thinking about death and blowing the back of my skull out was replaced by the "think on these things" of Phil 4:8. So I soldiered through it.

As for depression, in my case most of it seemed to be guilt, anger, and un-dealt-with issues. As that stuff started peeling away I started looking at what I was angry at, why, what I felt guilty for and why, and handled it one little bit at a time. Purged the false guilt, owned up to the earned guilt, and just handled it one bit at a time. I was serious about dealing with my issues around 2001 and in 2006 I had a serious breakthrough on the suicidal thoughts front. I haven't thought those thoughts since 06. It's been a while and I'm quite glad that chapter is behind me.

Most of the guilt was because of selfishness and I knew better, not accepting responsibilities then feeling bad about it later. Instead of playing the blame game and blaming everyone else I started owning up to stuff myself. Do right, think right, feel right. No excuses. No blame-shifting. Own it. I can own my behaviour. I can't own what others do to me but I can own my reactions. I can control how I respond. That's my life motto and it works for me. I feel better when I think and act better. When I accept responsibility and when I focus my thoughts on right things. Instead of wallowing in negative self-pity I redirected focus to helping others worse off than me. It helped a LOT to get my head out of my own rear-end and to focus on serving others above myself. It's just something I work hard on, have to stay focused on. Generally when I start feeling depression-type feelings I stop and look at my life and see what's out of whack. Am I eating right and getting proper nutrients, what am I feeling guilty for, what am I angry about, how can I handle it in a positive way? The answers generally present themselves and I deal with it. I like to stay "apologized-up" (ha) with everyone, make sure I'm on good standing in all my relationships. Don't let the sun go down on my anger, that sort of thing. Keep each day in itself and I try not to over-extend myself. Control my schedule, stress, etc.

I still have my monthly crying spells and those will probably get worse as I get older. I mean, come on. I'm 36. Menopause is just 5 or 6 years away if I'm anything like my mother. :-p I'm not looking forward to hot flashes. *cry* :-p

[SugarCorpse]

Trethowan- I'm only 20 but i've gone through a lot of realizations like that too. figuring out who i am and what things make me who i am and what added to my depression and what i should do about it helped a lot.

Before i used to be all kinds of depressed from issues i spent years sorting through. I've dealt with most of them and thats why ive been a lot better recently. So even though i've dealt with all my issues theres still some chemical stuff going on. Which is part of why everything weighed down on me and hurt so much in the first place.

I found my counselor a few years to late though, it would have been wonderful to talk to her sooner! Every where else i tried to find counselling didn't work so i had to work it all out myself. I mostly talk to my counselor i have now about things i can't change like how every best friend i've had has moved away or the fire i had back in april. She also agreed getting a doll sounded like a good idea for when i feel really low. and wants me to bring her to my next session after she arrives.

[KitKat]

I've been pretty lucky with finding good counselors. I had a few awesome ones. Only one or two crappy ones and they didn't last long with me. My last counselor was through my college. She was REALLY awesome. Found out that she and I had attended the same non-christian, non-denominational church when I was in my early teens. It was hilarous that we knew some of the same people. She would tell me that I HAD to set aside at least one night a week to chill, have a glass of wine and a sci-fi movie. That was her perscription!!! Loved that woman. Wish I could see her again, but she was strictly through the college and I graduated a year and a half ago.

[Trethowan]

Woohoo! I'm all for setting aside a night for chill time, wine and a good movie! <3

@ Sugar, I wish I'd figured more out sooner but we're all on a unique schedule. Best to accept our own personal paths and roll with it.