Even though my mum's doing much better, today was kind of heartbreaking. When I visited her today she told me that the doctors had told her this morning that she had been very close to dying and that my father had found her just in time...
she was in tears and I can't believe I stayed very calm because I always, ALWAYS get emotional easily.. I think I don't quite realize yet what that would have meant. I think I was mainly focusing on the thought "But that DIDN'T happen. You're still here."
Before I went to see her, she texted me if I would bring my guitar and play her one of my songs that she loves... so I did. It's her favourite song of the ones I wrote and she never told me before. She cried when I played it for her even though my voice wasn't as clear as usual because I had a very sore throat. I'm honoured that my music means that much to her.
Today was so full of joy and hurt at the same time. Those two emotions always seem to come together. I got a job for five weeks as a substitute teacher which is great for me, but the reason isn't so great, as I'm filling in for a teacher with breast cancer. Being happy about the job feels weird. Meh.
I should go to bed. It's been a long day.